crows.feet

2010-01-29T08:50:00.001-08:00

Munchkin Pumpkin

2009-10-13T09:17:00.000-07:00

It's PUMPKIN time! Which means it's time for creating pumpkin carvings, pumpkin bread, pumpkin lattes, pumpkin pancakes, and other lovely fall creations. Fall is so inspiring for me; I just wanna create all day and definitely not go to work. Fall also comes at a lovely time in my life when direction for me has become clear.... finally.

I have gotten a receptionist job downtown at a law firm so i can pay off my massive student loan debt. On the weekends I plan to start bunches of creative projects that involve salvaging furniture, making chandeliers, and other knick knack cute things that I can sell on etsy. Photography, though not clearly out of my mind, is on the back burner. The idea of starting my own business is scary yet exciting! I have gained much encouragement and insight from a lovely little website Design Sponge*. I'll post here updates of my processes. I've already scored a sweet table in the alley way near work! Huzzah!

Now go out and pumpkinfy everything!

- e l i s e -

coming soon

2009-08-13T23:55:00.000-07:00

...coming ,....

....soon.....

i have somewhat narrowed into a subject as to what my creations are about! huzzah! finally something i'm comfortable with!

Long Time No Blog

2009-06-22T08:39:00.000-07:00

So if i have any readers left after my 5 month hiatus, hello! My life pretty much consists of cashiering and dicking around so it's been hard to be inspired to write anything. Lately I've been poking my head back in the world of making art and thinking about projects, and it's been refreshing, as well as looking for a job that can support me shooting with film. But until that salary job rolls around I will be shooting sketches with the ole digital for now. Here are some extremely vague and spontaneous sketches:

Even though I cashier and speak to hundreds of people almost everyday I get a pretty good chance to think... a lot. This idea came when sweeping behind the register. It's just about aesthetics right now, but i liked the way my wrist looked when holding the broom a certain way. it looked twisted and a little deformed, so i tried to photograph it. like i said before, it's a sketch, and i'm not even sure where it fits into the future, but i kinda like it.

this is a sketch that i most certainly want to work on. it stems from ideas that i have for a whole project. Including this image which will only be one of ten parts in one image, including two sculptures.

I have started exploring into uncharted territory that somehow my art education skipped and left me feeling both distaste and ignorance in one field: sculpture. Sculpture is hard to read for me, mostly because I know almost nothing about it. I can't go into the sculpture I'm (slowly) in the process of making because it's a gift for someone, but it uses these:

I need about 900 more made. Recruits? I'll teach you how to make origami birds and we can make them over a bottle of wine. ;)

It's good to keep the artistic mind rolling around in other areas than photography and what naturally falls first is video. As soon as I get my hands on my friends vc I assure you that there will be plenty of videos to go around, including collaborations with my love, steve.

Here's a few current inspirations that help mix it up: miranda july If you have not seen You, Me, and Everyone You Know, netflix it now!
David Lynch's Interview Project which is insightful, entertaining, and extremely well done.

ok. now you've been updated a little. yoga time. thanks for reading if there are any readers left.

- e l i s e -

My Own Private Adoration

2009-02-18T18:07:00.001-08:00

Despite life's trials that try to bring you down, right now, amidst my mother's tribulations, I feel the strongest i have been in a really long time. Some of this comes from previous experience of sorting through life's tough times and coming out knowing how to deal with the lemons; most of this come from knowing, receiving, and living love, though. Being in the right relationship at the right time with the right person can make anyone capable of doing anything. It's actually amazing how much love can radiate through a person when both giving and receiving hearts between two people and also loving everyone. I feel so blessed to have the person that showed me how to love humanity, as my own private adoration. Now THAT will make you strong. Love can conquer anything.

love,
with all my heart,

- e l i s e -

ps - i just realized that my friend SLU just updated her website with the project in which I modeled. Check'em out, they turned out truly beautiful!

Been a While

2009-01-15T21:53:00.001-08:00

It's been a while for lots of things, including this blog. But the absence has made good use of its time. I'm in cohorts with my brain on a new blog, a new crowsfeet, and a new life...all still in chicago, surprisingly. More to come. Thanks for paying attention.

love,
elise

POSTal

2008-12-12T11:04:00.000-08:00

So I just found a great website and I'm super excited! Thanks Ben Speckmann for getting fellow facebookers involved via Proximity Magazine, which launches its live site tonight at midnight. The website is The Post Family which is a collective art magazine, blog, gallery, store, and website based in Chicago.

In other news, I will be interning for Tony Wight Gallery starting December 31st which I am uber excited about. Tony seems pretty open for ambition, so I have a feeling I'll learn a great deal and get to push my ideas more as an intern here at Tony's than in most galleries or institutions.

That's all for now.

Tied Knots

2008-12-10T12:58:00.000-08:00

Los Angeles was more amazing than I expected it to be. In fact, I didn't actually take that many pictures and certainly not any serious ones. I know I love a place when I don't feel like I have to capture every moment with a camera; i want to just enjoy the moment without a lense between my eye and the world. There were many awakenings while in the city of angels, and angels i did find.

What LA experience could be complete without a trip to the movies? I went twice to this highly executive-feel and highly executive-priced movie theater in hollywood where i guess all those hollywood openings take place. The day I arrived my friends Eric and Jason picked me up from the airport and after briefly planning our day together it was torn to shreds after Jason convinced us that nothing could surpass going to see a matinee of Rachel Getting Married. And boy was he right.

Anne Hathaway stars in this beautiful film about a recovering addict who attends her sister's weekend wedding that feels so real it's remarkable. No film has completely absorbed me like this one; the performances are all outstanding and make the viewer feel as if not only they were apart of the wedding party but a part of this family. Director Jonathan Demme captured human drama so well that even viewer's deepest unrelated feelings will become unearthed and somehow parallel the film's drama. By far the best film of the year and by far worth throwing our day's plans away for. All three of us sobbed like babies. Here's the trailer:

If ever I get married, this will be the way! What a beautiful, spiritual, and REAL way to get married. And speaking of marriage, congratulations to my best friend Freya Jess D'Amico and her boyfriend, Keith Potempa for their recent engagement! They also traveled to LA for T'giving and it was wonderful having them and their love around us as well.

And speaking of spiritual. Quite unexpectedly while driving in a cramped car with four other people from Hollywood to Beverly Hills with the windows rolled down, the sun setting, and a soundtrack of Nick Cave, I had a spiritual experience and revelation. Not in a long time have I felt such peace and love. In that moment I understood love of humanity. I was surrounded by the greatest loves of my life to which nothing could harm me. With their unconditional love and truly understanding of me, my faults, my praises, and likewise, it allowed me love everyone. This is my God. I understand that God is love now. It's not some bearded white man in a scene of pink and purest white clouds. God, and as cliche as this sounds, really does exist in us, if we allow it. It's not hippie or new age bullshit; it's real, and if you're in the right place at the right time with the right people, I hope you feel it too.

Buddha of the Mountains
Originally uploaded by nkimadams

Needless to say Los Angeles was a revealing trip and also in the art world. I met with DNJ GALLERY which was extremely helpful. I have an interview with Tony Wight Gallery tomorrow about a possible internship with them that would greatly increase my chances of getting a paid gallery job when i move to LA.

Coming back to Chicago was not a great thrill and after spending a week in my friend's LA neighborhood, Echo Park, it makes Chicago's concrete landscape look quite dull. I had only one loose end to tie and now that it is done and settled I am sitting on the knot waiting for March 31st, the day my lease expires and I will move back home for a couple of months before trekking my goals to LA. It is strange to be presently in Chicago, knowing now that it only represents my past.

meditation on time
Originally uploaded by conceptvessel

New Email

2008-11-24T10:47:00.001-08:00

Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,

Tomorrow I leave for LA for a week. Exciting times and soon to have pictures! Also, my email has changed since I don't use mobile.me except for email, so it's not worth paying $190 for. New email: elise.crowsfeet@gmail.com

Pen Pal Me! er...keyboard me!

hearts,

- e l i s e -

A-List Alias

2008-11-12T11:12:00.000-08:00

From my recent experience and observation, people are starved for human connection. Why? There are billions of people on this planet, yet very few strive to have interaction with even a tiny fraction of the world's population. Yes, yes, there are those internet dating sights and it is no new news that people are in anxious determination to find love with someone. But that's someone, not humanity. We have become a stifled race with social anxiety, stigmatism, and paralysis. We no longer have the basic skills of how to communicate with others, and when we do happen to find someone in a brief encounter that we connect with, we chicken out because of the before-mentioned problems.
I work at a small upscale grocery market in Wicker Park where I have human interaction constantly. For the most part, people are generally cordial, but every now and then there is the 30-something woman buying her wine and cheese that is too busy gabbing on her iphone to notice the person behind the counter that is depleting her infinite checking account. An even smaller percentage of those I encounter are the ones i find a connection and actually enjoy there encounter at my register. One girl in particular who is around my age and works at my favorite boutique down the street comes in every week. Our first encounter was sparked by our love for FREITAG bags and the store she works. The next week we exchanged names on her initiative. Since then I am all smiles when she comes in because I know a stranger that in a rare circumstance I was able to connect to. However, for these same reasons I'm afraid to pursue any more human interaction besides the one that exists in the grocery market. Fears that surround the "what if she thinks i'm hitting on her" or "what if she thinks i'm creepy, i'm just her grocery clerk," overtake my want to hang out with someone new and someone who seems cool. Was human interaction always this fearful? How did people connect without the internet?

And do you really get to know someone through the internet? My mother has been recommended to join many dating sites recently. Her response has always been that it was too creepy because anybody can lie about themselves. I told her maybe she should have a little more faith in humanity. She then met yet another success story from theresplentyoffish.com a free internet dating site. My mother cynically checked it out and filled out the profile since it was significantly shorter than the others and she is a busy woman. After answering the twenty questions or so, the internet cupid displayed a list of about 15 thumbnails of men that best matched her personality and she was sure to have a connection. Number One? Her ex-husband. Number Two? Her best friend's ex-husband. Needless to say she proved herself right and has refused to look into any more online dating sites, anyone can lie. So when do the internet love-matching guru's figure out that mr. or mrs. right, ain't so right? I guess as soon as the rest of us do with non-internet loves, eh?

I would say in my opinion that most people are pretty comfortable within their large or small circle of friends. No one has time beyond their work/school schedule and time with friends they already know and that know them, to put any effort into someone new, especially if it means that the other could think you're creepy or, heaven forbid, the opposite sexual orientation that you really are, unless it is of course, for love. We tend not to notice that our circle of friends could be expanded until we go through something devastating and lonely, or perhaps just the opposite happens.

In any case, human interaction can be beautiful and well-needed, especially since we're entering the dreary winter months. I implore you to take a risk and strike up a conversation with someone you don't know at all today.

Another amazing resource that is all about basic human connection: Couch Surfing (my personal choice for personal interaction. Couchsurfing keeps me alive and real.

And to throw some art into the mix, this artist, Nick Rodrigues, seems to be doing exactly what I'm talking about.

Working Woman

2008-10-28T21:09:00.001-07:00

I am a workin' gal. Though, I must say it is somewhat depressing when someone I know from school comes in to my less-than-glamorous jobs. It makes me feel as though I have failed them in some way; that i am not working my potential. And I'm not. But working 7 days a week 48 hours a week to bay bills hardly cares about your potential, and neither do the loan companies. Holy. mother. of. god. I spit on loans! blechk! If only I could shout out to them while I'm bagging their $15 pasta and Mrs. Meyers soap, "I'm trying! I'm trying!" and, "I tried! I tried! I'm just a proud mary and I'm not going to settle for some crap photo-related job. Instead I settled for crap jobs in a non-related field." Somehow that makes things feel better...and temporary.
It's the pinches of minutes and seconds I have in between two jobs when I can glimpse at some of my recent photos, touch them up, or for god sakes! take a goddamn picture, that keep me sane. Here are the recent pinches of my efforts:

And speaking of temporary. I'm visiting Los Angeles for Thanksgiving to visit my friends/brothers who are a part of Scratch Frame and while there I will have meetings with galleries, including DNJ Gallery which represents Jon Gitelson and Nate Baker and will have their show up while i am there, to talk shop! I plan to move to LA in the spring/summer of '09 so I'm trying to line up possible jobs or at least be pointed in the right direction. How fitting that Jon will be showing his work from "Dream Job." Coincidence? I think not!

In other news you ask? I've sent my canon 5d to the shop finally. ok fine, i haven't yet, but tomorrow i'm off to the post office and then to VOTE! So when i get my camera back you will have the viewing pleasure of seeing more from me, and in a lighter mood photographically. I'll have finally discovered what LA is all about, I will be photographing whatever comes to me, and some easier sketches. Till, then..... VOTE!

What Can You Do With a Sentimental Heart?

2008-09-24T16:01:00.001-07:00

currently scanning. not as excited about these as the shower ones, but still promising. i can't wait to shoot another 3 ideas i have. one including the talented miss sarah-louise walker, which by the way, has some stellar photos soon to arrive. I know this because i computer stalked her in the digital lab at school and opened her folder. Nothing short of beautiful. Forget about Michael, Slu's has a fantastic love affair with her new Mamiya 6x7. Also, check out this acquaintance of mine, Nikkita Cohoon who just put up a lovely new website. She's in my links, because I'm too lazy to make her name a link.

n joy

Results

2008-09-16T18:59:00.000-07:00

these are rough drafts so excuse the non-matching color correction

coming soon...

and i'm using photos i took a year ago at the beginning of photo sem. i knew i would use these again and they may be some of my favorite photographs i ever took while at columbia.

[more]

Calamity

2008-09-14T11:44:00.000-07:00

new pictures will be here soon. in fact, the negatives are right beside me in my purse. negatives of thighs, panty lines, shower scenes, and lactating nipples. needless to say, i am excited.

I don't want to spoil too much fun, but I am in serious collaboration mode. I've met some new people in different areas of the arts that know how to do things i don't. Let's just say that sculpture will be a new-found material in my photographs. And then I'm realizing some old friends' potential in creating something outstanding together. Quite frankly, I feel that if one thinks they can achieve something brilliant in this day of art on their own, they might just suffer from a case of pretention. However, I do have a hard time explaining the big idea in the beginning stages, so a collaboration could just turn into calamity. we shall see.

In other news: I've met some people that want me to collaborate with them, ie, help someone write a book? who knew! The auction benefit for The Renaissance Society, Lovely So Real, went smashingly well for everyone involved. I was able to make some great contacts and got to see with my own eyes the celebrities of the art world in chicago...it was sorta strange.

Things are looking up for me even though I find myself completely surrounded by people too busy to look down and notice me. But every once in a while, someone sneezes, and there I am to hand them a tissue.

Up-Swing

2008-08-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

It's no surprise that I should take much more fulfilling pictures post grad and that i would be more inspired creatively after escaping the bog-down of deadlines, instructors, and classes. I have begun to schedule and plot out photographs. and i'm excited.

YOu guys have just seen me write this way. My more formal writings for the THE RENAISSANCE SOCIETY are now up on their website for their auction in september. My initials are on the pieces that I wrote for. You should at least check it out to see new art. Some of it's pretty cool. Others are okay.... as usual.

chao.

Googley-Eyed

2008-07-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about the misuse and misunderstanding of common words in the English vocabulary. As a society we're told constantly that we are visual, everything relies on visual context, we listen with our eyes, and basically we've become completely illiterate because we no longer read, unless it's the captions underneath a photograph. This has undoubtedly changed our perception of words, their connotation, and ultimately their meaning. I would not be surprised if a dictionary in a few years became obsolete, replaced only by images of course. Google, I'm sure will jump right on that, since they practically have become THE image database. I decided to an experiment on words that seem to be the most miscommunicated and misunderstood in my own personal experience. I google imaged 6 words: Woman, Man, Desire, Love, Lust, and Sex, and I collaged the first five image results from these words. The results were interesting, but unfortunately not surprising.

WOMAN

MAN

DESIRE

LOVE

LUST

SEX

While coming across the first image in the sex one, there was an interesting article attached to it about hardcore art. check it out here

Removing Linear

2008-07-11T12:55:00.000-07:00

I knew the first thing I wanted to do with my work as an artist when I finished Columbia was to move away from linear and series-based photography. It's so boring, so expected. Sometimes it works, but most of the time it's a yawn fest. I don't want to be just a photographer. I'm interested in using all mediums in one project (gasp!) - something Columbia wasn't too friendly with. I still want to discuss the same issues as my senior project but yes, in a different way. I think that people didn't hear me in critiques when I said I wasn't happy yet with the project and how it was photographed. For the time and place it was in the project it was as successful as it could be. People took me saying that I wasn't willing to loose the idea of the project, as me saying I wasn't going to budge photographically or aesthetically. This was THE most frustrating and irritating to handle throughout the nothing-but-frustrating project. Anyways, my head has been spinning with creativity and ideas, but I have no direction. And having no direction is absolute bliss! I know I am guilty as charged for trying to get the point to the viewer as clearly as possible and ended up taking photographs that I would never ever want to take. Caught in that mindset though, I was proud of them. Whatev. Live and learn. I didn't listen to my gut-instict back in photo sem, so after that everything spiraled into a Columbia-inspired, cut and dry, linear piece of crap.

Here are some sketches of ideas that have been running through my head that I've managed to capture on film. It is completely different from my final project but still has the same ideas, which means I'm completely excited about it. I love sitting in a certain way and being instantly inspired. That's what happened here:

Ironically this example is linear, but in a much different way. ha! when i speak of non-linear I mean One photography, the next one, photograph number three, blah blah blah. I'm thinking of Wolfgang Tillmans, who i actually don't particularly care for, but the only example I can think of.

I also like it when you take pictures for a completely different reason that what they turn out, when in context of others. Lika zis one:

Especially in context with this one:

and this one:

And here are some others I like:

Musings

2008-06-30T13:54:00.000-07:00

Aha! Reading and visiting Nashville always does me good, creatively anyways. I've currently started writing my screenplay that I am super duper excited about. I didn't think that I would be excited really at all, but I am. I've also got some vague ideas about where my burdened project will continue. Donna Arntzen has gracefully allowed me to use her for my model temporarily. Here is a polaroid sketch of sudden inspiration I gathered from her house:

Here are some more musings from that day:

I've also just today started to storyboard an idea that I've had for about a year or two now. It will be fun, but all I'm going to tell you now is that it involves this car, or one similar to it. So if you know where I can borrow one for a day, let me know.

In the steady stream of trying to find a job that doesn't sell my soul, I came across this artist, Helen Maureen Cooper Beautiful Inspiration from her series "Birds of Appetite."

Mint Rhubarb Spritzer

2008-06-16T15:07:00.000-07:00

I will update soon.
I promise.
But now i'm too busy making rhubarb spritzer.
In other news:

none. except that everyone is getting married. which is really no news at all.

ReBoot My Robot

2008-05-24T13:13:00.000-07:00

So Graduation is over and life after school begins....okay what now?

1) do NOT work at Starbucks or any coffee/tea cafe
2) do get a decent paying job probably at a restaurant
3) climb my way up the gallery-working ladder
4) get a job at anthropologie so i can get an adult's wardrobe
5) organize my life
6) start paying back loans
7) take a break, but keep photographing

Still, I wonder when my life really begins. Even after all these things can be checked off. I wonder how long it will take me. I wonder if I ever will. Or have I really already? blakglkjaslkdhalogop.

This picture makes me chuckle a little every time I look at it. It's from the set of Peer Pressure, the practicum film I shot film stills for.

Here are some other favs:

With A Wink & A Smile

2008-04-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hint Hint.

This is where my project has taken me: to a lot more work for me. but at least i'm actually somewhat excited to pick up a camera now. I just got to get out of my uber lazy streak.

The God in Goddard

2008-03-31T18:05:00.000-07:00

This scene made my day. I was t.a. -ing for jon gitelson, it was the class' midterm so we just got to hang out and watch movies. this was the last one we started watching and didn't get to finish. It is not 171 in my netflix queue. The classic French filmmaker, Jean-Luc Goddard, in his masterpiece, Bande a Part (Band of Outsiders). You can also tell the HUUUUGe influence it had on Jim Jarmusch while he was making Stranger in Paradise.

Spring Break

2008-03-26T00:15:00.001-07:00

Wish I was here again.

{Nice}

Instead I'm excited that it's 50 degrees in Chicago. oh well.

Happy Spring Break.

And Happy Birthday Alanna!

And for God's Sake, Happy Napping!

{venice}

System Overload

2008-03-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

Right now is a time of solitude. I am becoming a recluse. I am suffering from severe senioritis and i don't want to do A NY THING! I am so bored out of my mind with photographs right now. Everything has turned into a chore, a systematic way of life, where i feel like even the art world falls into a robotic ignorant state of mind. I thought the art world would bring me away from this but really the art world is just a different version of roboticism. We have our own language, that when you stop and think about it, is absolutely absurd. "I really enjoy this image because..." God if I hear that one more time my brain is going to explode through my corneas. Along with: This image is "painterly," "juxtaposition," "your since of light," etc. Im just so sick of it all that it is draining all inspiration i once had. We've become so soaked and marinated in the "art world" that we start making "art" for only the art world; art that can only be understood by this absurd language and that looses all its meaning because the art is just another form of materialism for this world. We envy it, we lust after it, we create it, we become a slave to it, we conceit it.

Anyways, it's times like these when I retreat back to music to give me a since of direction and placement in this world. Today, Bjork is helping me do that. Everyday I am realizing that I need to stem out from photography. A flat still image is boring me. I have more than that. I feel more than that.

enjoy:

New Inspiration

2008-02-24T18:26:00.000-08:00

T.A. - ing for Kelli Connell and now making contact sheets for her has been more than beneficial. To see work like hers once every week that only select eyes get to see is profoundly helpful to me. Her work blows my mind; there is something on every contact sheet that I like. I'm pretty sure that the closest I will come to be a successful photographer of her stature is when someone mistakes her contact sheets for images taken by myself. And what a great person on top of it! I heart Kelli Connell. If you are not familiar with her, get familiar.

Vist more of her work here.

Also another new favorite female photographer is Alison Brady:

Another honorable mention, Lisa Kerszi:

The Polok Myth

2008-02-24T17:41:00.000-08:00

is it devendra banhart? is it jesus? it's YATZIK! he may not be a myth but he certainly is legend. and a legend that has now said goodbye to his jesus locks and traded them in for nothing less than a wharhol-worthy do.

Flikah

2008-02-21T15:49:00.000-08:00

Check out my Flickr for kinda new photos

Nice Try

2008-02-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

So I tried to update this last week, but blogger did not want to upload pictures. But for all you loyal readers, i.e. mom, i will have something to show for my six week break in a few days. In other news, the semester has started off pretty great and I'm getting my Canon 5D tomorrow! woohoo!

peace,
elise

School's Out

2007-12-17T15:37:00.001-08:00

A bunch of us went to celebrate Victor's birthday at Skylark. This is how we entertained ourselves. Photo booths are always cool.

Ashley, my favorite owl, and me.

Yatzik, Chiara, Ashley, and me. Look closely in the third one and there is the creepy eye of Yatzik. Yatzik, the all knowing.

More 19th

2007-12-08T11:22:00.001-08:00

I Don't Go To Sleep To Dream

2007-12-05T16:39:00.000-08:00

from a little project in 19th century about anger and insanity. i like where this is going, but i like it much better in color.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Finals

2007-11-28T16:34:00.001-08:00

finals are here...

deadline for weisman is tomorrow...

the thousands of photo students that we haven't seen all semester are jumping out at all places...

cold weather? here to stay for a while

stress...yeah...

time? not here....

more photos? .... cool your jets...

Nice To Meet You

2007-11-13T19:23:00.001-08:00

Here are some young ladies I photographed in the Hostel I stayed in while in Nice, France. The two girls below, Duanna and Maissa, had just finished their first year studying at Kings College in London and came to Nice to work for the holiday. At the beginning of my stay they were not too welcoming and I tried to avoid them. But one night, while they were talking about boys, I decided to put down my guard and give them a little elderly sister advice. What else could unify girls other than the men that drive us crazy? Afterwards we shared giggles and beach towels and warm goodbye hugs. We are now facebook friends.

On the last day they finally realized that I was a photographer and why I was carrying a 25lb black backpack to the beach everyday. Maissa had never had a formal photograph made of her before, but Duanna was somewhat well learned on the subject of modeling since her dad was an amateur photographer. Maissa was nervously excited, and I was just trying to hurry before the Pink Lady through me out.

Duanna, originally from Ireland, was job searching my entire visit and never found one, so after the beach got boring and fighting off the old men got tiring, she packed up with Maissa for back home.

Maissa, from north of London, was the two week girlfriend of the 28 yr old Guatemalan guy who helped run the hostel. But alas! A new shipment of hostel-sleepers arrived and a girl from Sweden then swept him off his feet. Maissa was hopelessly jealous since she slept right next to the Swede and was in tears about it almost every night.

Olga, a girl from Sweden (not the love interest), was a delightfully sweet girl who originally came with her sister, Elsa, but decided to stay after her sister left. She was most certainly the best drinker and the keeper of the peace. For me, she was a translator that argued with the Pink Lady herself to get my money back on one night's stay that I was not going to be staying. I love her.

Best of Both Worlds

2007-11-13T13:44:00.000-08:00

So I've been praised, and I've been slammed, which has left me completely confused. Thursday should be interesting because we're having a guest critiquer: Mary Casey Freedman, i think? So it should be the best of both worlds having the experience of a successful photographer and the unfamiliarity of our work. But it will be a nail-biting experience for sure. If I land in middle ground, I'll be happy...for the moment. Anyways, I remembered I had a pulled back shot of the one in the kitchen and I am directing my gaze at the camera.

But what do I want to do, you ask? I just want to have fun...with Nadine AND get a picture in focus every once in a while. SP's are so damn frustrating!

A Photographer's Photographer

2007-11-07T19:12:00.001-08:00

So I became a real photographer today and finally got my external hard drive. My mother gave me one almost a year ago, but it was only for PC format. I've been too lazy ever since to do anything about it...until the other day when i bought a 320gb for $95. huzzah!These are the the first ones to be loaded:

Happy Kee Kee, Photo Kee Kee, Hungry Kee Kee, and Kee Kee the Full

2007-11-01T14:51:00.000-07:00

Almost a year ago Chiara took me to the wonderful land called, Wisconsin. This is in a diner in Silver Lake, i think? Eating with Kee Kee is always entertaining, mostly cause she gets something on her face, chows down, then nearly throws up at the end of every meal because she somehow fits a small beast inside her tiny body, every single time.

Piccadilly Market

2007-11-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

My second day in London was spent in both Camden Market and Piccadilly Market. The later was more for families, antiquers, and delicious produce. When I first arrived it was nearly raining and the antique booths were packing up with these billowy tarps. No one was friendly because they all wanted to go home so I was a little nervous about taking pictures. I think this was my first roll of black and white while over there.

Be A Man, Woman!

2007-10-31T17:00:00.001-07:00

That's what my project is about. I figured it out on train last night. Society (meaning both men AND women) tell women to act like a man in analytical, emotional, and conversational instances. And this is stupid.

Here are a couple of women I can be a woman with, and not be told to do otherwise.

Me and Amber

Me and Suzy

Clue

2007-10-30T09:19:00.001-07:00

From last week's critique:

It got a yes and a no. I like this photograph, but it was the first one from this project that I felt inhibited by a square format. This was for sure a 35mm shot in my head. I wanted the length of my arms spread out across the bed and not much in the background. It is so hard to plan out the shots exactly how I like them without seeing the subject in them first. Sometimes you get happy surprises and other times it's just off... like this one. Ben suggested I get a new lense. I suggested he get give me the money to get one. I'm going to try to reshoot this one the way I see fit. However, it does work nicely with my idea, but the aesthetic becomes about the shapes in this one, as opposed to the subject being viewed.

Ben said at this point in the semester is when people either speed up or slow down in their photography. I'm afraid I've come to an ever massive obstacle: non-motivation. ugh...I think this photograph displays that feeling, but it's not necessarily what it is about. It could be about a lot of things.

Better Than A Photograph

2007-10-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

Tonight I went onto Facebook and looked at one of the dear families I became friends with this summer on my European adventure. From London, a city which I know I am destined to be completely submerged, I saw that they had a website for their blog, a new addition from the last time I had checked. When reading their blog I was moved to tears of the amazing love story told in just seven paragraphs and the horror it struck me to be invited into the panic that they lived in for a few days thinking that Leslie, the young wife and new doctor, had cancer, and then later thinking that they both might have aids. I cried the whole way through; I cried to the end when the scare ended up being no more than a child saying "boo!" but I still cried. These two people had the strongest impact on me in such a short time than anyone has in a very long time. When I was in Europe, they were the only ones that made me aware that my heart still had a thump. How do they do this? HOw do they do this in only a total of a sporadic 6 days in the total of 2 months? I knew at the end of my trip that they had become dear friends of mine, but not until just now did I realize how meaningful they were to me and how much the effected and changed my life forever.

I wanted to photograph them, but schedules did not allow. I wrote in their guestbook that it didn't matter that I hadn't because I had not seen the last of them; I would photograph them the next time I came back, which would hopefully be extremely soon. Upon reading their blog all I could think is how I wish I had photographed them so that I could show whomever reads this blog their faces. But then I realized that there were plenty of times to photograph them. I saw them plenty of times, there was plenty of light, but it never felt right. I just wanted to enjoy them to see them with my eyes instead of reflected in a mirror. They were and are better than a photograph will always be and no photograph could ever capture what they mean to me.

I think at a certain point in a photographer's life it gets hard to put the camera down, but we must. If we don't, we're only photographing what we see as a photograph, not life. I encourage you to read Paul and Leslie's blog which I will put in my links. I am not the only life they have changed, I guarantee that.

Anything For Art

2007-10-17T14:01:00.000-07:00

Yesterday evening Chiara, Suzy, and I drove up to Burlington, WI to do a massively quick photo shoot. We all skipped a class and Suzy and I skipped work. It was worth it. I had to shoot in a particular corn field in a quite ridiculous outfit posing as a creepy Virgin Mary. All three of us were running around frantically trying to get as many shots as possible with the gorgeous light Wisconsin always gives us. I was able to get some polaroids as well:

Relate Female?

2007-10-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

more to come from my photo sem project

Ethereal

2007-10-12T17:33:00.000-07:00

I'm working on these images for 19th Century Photographic Processes. I have converted these images to black and white digital negatives on lyth film and will make albumen silver prints. It will, i think, be gorgeous. Two of them are from Milan in the house I stayed in, and the other three are in the apartment in Cinque Terre.

Cookies, Cats, and Captures

2007-10-10T13:24:00.000-07:00

To the best roomate ever. Love you....and i guess Krasnal too.

oh and i can't get images to load on my home computer from this site so that's why there were not 13 images on the last blog. i assure you i can count. i haven't gotten THAT crazy yet.

Magic 13?

2007-10-07T18:20:00.000-07:00

Killing Time, Killing My Mind

2007-09-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

PARIS

CINQUE TERRE

FRANCESCA, THE MIME ARTIST IN PARIS

so desperately wish this was in focus.

Some New Newsome

2007-09-14T14:31:00.000-07:00

This is my favorite thusfar. I took it on my last day shooting under the final bridge i was photographing. It was probably the most peaceful day of my trip. The water was calm and everything was so perfectly beautiful. Personal revelations were flowing in as to why I was photographing the "ugliest" part of Florence. I listened to Joanna Newsome while I photographed this last set. She made the most perfect beautiful music to accompany what I saw. Now that I'm photoshopping all of these images that are due in two weeks, I cannot stop listening to her. She is as earthy, fluid, and reflective as what's shown in my images.

Lady Huzzah!

2007-09-10T13:10:00.000-07:00

it's been a first week of build-ups and breakdowns, but in the end, still strong.

river bank photos coming real soon, ya'll.

they have too. ahhh!!! run the race run the race run run the rat race!

Francesca Woodman

2007-09-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have decided to feature a female artist regularly on here because i find it particularly inspiring that there are women out there making some fantastic art. It is not just men. Francesca Woodman's work is so so beautiful and a type of imagery i want to try and create in 19th century this semester. She was raised by artists, her brother is also a successful video artist. She studied at RISD and went on a scholarship trip to Rome for a year. Many people have called her a prodigy as she started creating images at 13 that are astoundingly gorgeous. Sadly, as one can tell in her tortured imagery, Francesca had many emotional struggles and ended her life at 22 in New York by throwing herself out of her apartment window. Her images are haunting, pristine, and meticulously stunning.

iPod Finds Italy

2007-08-31T13:37:00.000-07:00

Finally recovered some other scans i did of the riverbank while in italy on my ipod. There's some random things on here too from italy.

Cupid Chastised

2007-08-31T12:08:00.000-07:00

I did stills for my friend, Eric's Production 2 film, Cupid Chastised about, oh, two years ago. I just finished photoshopping them today. sweet.

Alice Sees The Light

2007-08-21T22:05:00.001-07:00

I just caught the last 10 minutes of the most amazing experimental/social awareness/documentary film on pbs after watching Thelma and Louise. I wish I had watched more of the other, rather than t&l. Stylistically it was so cool with lots of still frames with text coming in over in stop motion. The images were beautiful. From what I gathered, the film was about a woman who lived in the country but there had been a large commercial plant built right next to her house that had extremely bright lights. So bright, in fact, that her eyes could never switch into night vision because they were not distinguishing nightime. It was freakin cool and confirms even more my love for PBS.

I heart you PBS.

Learn more about the film here

Occupy

2007-08-16T17:52:00.000-07:00

Since I've Been Back:

this is my design for my business card that i will eventually print. feedback?

Summer With Friends :)

The Breakdown

2007-08-14T12:19:00.000-07:00

Black and White 120 Rolls Shot and Developed: 8
Black and White 35mm Rolls Shot and Developed: 15
Color 120 Rolls Shot: 32
Color 35mm Rolls Shot: 38
1 Polaroid

What I left Behind:

1 Loufre and 1 bottle of face wash in hostel in London my first night.
1 pair (my favorite) of Sunglasses in Switzerland
1 Water bottle in a freezer in Nice
Bag of lemon raspberry tea i bought in London, left in Florence.
Beach mat bought in Nice, left in Florence

What was lost/stolen:

1 leather wallet
120 Euros
USB cord for my ipod

What Was Returned:

Everything else in the wallet

What Needs Repair:

Bronica
35 mm Nikon
1 pair of purple sunglasses
My body

Books Brought and Read:

Naked, by David Sedaris
Catcher in the Rye, by Salinger
Nine Stories, by Salinger
The Every Boy, by Adam something

Books Bought and still Reading:

A Spot of Bother, by Mark Haddon
Photography as Contemporary Art
Philosophy of Art, by Mark Rothko
ARte d'Italia

All Cities Visited (In chronological order):

New York City
London
Paris, Montmarte
Basel
Lucerne
Nice
Florence
Lucca
Via Reggio
Pisa
Venice
Fiasole
Cinque Terre
Rome
Milan
London
Brooklyn

Museums Visited:
Tate Modern
Picasso Museum
Kunst Museum
Uffitzi
Acedemia
Duomo Museum
Biannale
Peggy Guggenheim's House Museum in Venice
Vatican
Piti Palace
PalazzioRoyale

Monuments/Touristy things Seen:

Times Square
Central Park
Camden Market
Piccadilly Market
Globe Theater
London Bridge
pretty much every thing in Paris
Lake Lucerne
Swiss Alps
Duomo
David
Golden Doors on the Baptistry
Michaelangelo's Plazza
a hell of a lot of churches
The Birth of Venus
a hell of a lot of art i can't remember off the top of my head
Colloseum
Forum
Spanish Steps
Vatican
Sistine Chapel
St. Pauls Cathederal
a famous fountain i can't remember the name of
Pantheon
Ancient Roman Ruins
Tower of Pisa
The Grand Canal
Duomo in Milano
Galleria in Milano
London Bridge
Tower Bridge
Tower of London
Big Ben
Parliament
Abbey Cathederal
Coney Island
and much much more

Strangers I Met:

Paul and Lesley
3 boys from Santa Rosa, CA
Frederica, a mime artist
Marianita, an anthropologist
Ammie, a French actress
Samy, a cartoonist in Montemarte
an old man who can write poems on the spot
Ibrahim, a Sudanese refugee who was extremely kind, helped me find a phone place, and wanted to take me to coffee. i said no.
Fabian and roomates, a swiss man who works for the Suisse Bank
The Pink Lady, ran the hostel in Nice, turned out to have a nasty temper
Edwardo, manager of the hostel orignally from Guatemala
Anna, from the Netherlands and Edwardo's temporary girlfriend
Paul, a gorgeous South African man who moved to Nice to be a sailor and sometimes lives at the hostel
Olga and Elsa, sisters from the Netherlands who are very sweet and the life of the party
Maissa and Duanna, from King's College in London. We got off to a bad start, but ended up being very sweet girls. Duanna is originally from northern ireland.
Another incredibly gorgeous south african man who took my place in the hostel.
An Albanian man who I never wrote down the name or email address he gave me, but was frustrated with the racism in France.
5 boys from San Diego, CA who came to Europe for their highschool graduation, and to get drunk.
Christian, our waiter at the restaurant below our apartment in Florence.
Andrei, the fruit stand boy who was adorable and gave me free fruit
Giovanna and Stefano, my religious hosts in Milan
Ilahim, a man from Algeria who spoke no English but wanted to walk around the park with me
An old man sitting next to him that was keen on interpreting for us
Giam, a black guy from Lyon, France in a cast and with a lisp that I met in a park in Milan that wanted his picture taken and a little more than i was willing to give him. He ended up being a serious jerk.
Giovanni, the gorgeous Jewish man in Milan who used to be a Nazi, but now attends temple and the Christian church. A graduate student in architecture who thinks Harry Potter leads you to the devil.
Jay, a guy from Seattle that also couchsurfed in London with Paul and Lesley
Amy, a girl from Brooklyn (couchsurfer) that was getting ready to go back to NYU for law.
Another guy from Brooklyn in London.
Lewis Thorwaldson, the first guy i stayed with in Brooklyn who knew a lot about the place for only being there for 3 months. Really into couchsurfing.
Liam, bike-enthusiast biologist who brews his own beer in Brooklyn apt. Stayed with him my last night in Brooklyn.
My cab driver, originally from Brooklyn, used to be in the restaurant business, retired, and has now been a cab driver for 5 weeks. He knew I was getting to the airport super early so he took me the long way and gave me a tour of Brooklyn for no extra cost and gave me an earfull of stories. he was awesome.

Days Gone: 52
Days I Sweated Profusely: 52
Panic Attacks: 7
Times I Ran Out of Money: 2
Days I Had My Camera On Me: 49
Most Visible Bruises At One Time: 6
Revelations: somewhere around 10
Complete Days That I Was Focused On Nothing Other Than What Was Right In Front of Me: 11
Days I Missed You: 51
Regrets: 0...well maybe that I had had more money.

Coming Soon: A Dissertation Blog about the reflections of the trip overall.

Finale

2007-08-04T06:44:00.001-07:00

London was amazing. Fall weather, wonderful people, and the comfort of not having to photograph it, but just sit in a cafe and be apart of london. I loved it and i want to move there. So did my hosts. They offered me a rooming spot for September. I obviously turned them down.

I barely made my flight, though, which was not fun. I got to the check in counter minutes before they were about to close check in for my flight. good. then i had to ruuuuuuuuuuuun to the gate...which was gate 42. I also had to check my camera bag which was terrifying. They only let you have one carry on for unknown reasons, so the one with my money and entertainment was the choice for the plane.

I was running with an eight pound bag and in flip flops and a sweatshirt. I beat the golf cart though. I was pretty proud of that.

Don't ever watch scary movies on a long flight.

Since I have been so cinema deprived, the plan on this flight was to watch as many films as possible. First: The Lives of Others. awesome german movie about the GDR. Second movie: Vacancy. Bad bad bad very bad idea. Im sitting next to a stranger and all i want to do is scream and hold on to her. I did not do this obviously, but when the flight attendants came around to ask for drinks I was biting my pillow, jumped suddenly, and threw my pillow in the air. When she handed me the drink I could barely hold on to it I was shaking from being so tense. I will never watch a scary movie on a plane again. So to change this mood I watched The Pursuit of Happyness. I cried. I was all over the place on this plane ride.

It felt so good to be able to turn on my own cell phone and have service. So great. American soil. I never e ver dreamed I would say this, but I am glad to be back in America.

Couch surfer picked me up from the airport, which was awesome. I slept in his bed and he slept on the couch, though, so that was kinda weird. Especially since he hadn't changed the sheets and when I went to put my head down there was some sort of critter to welcome me home. I thought i was in america?

Last night I stayed with another couchsurfer, Leif, who is pretty cool. We had some beers and went to Coney Island for fireworks night. It was fantastic, even though I was completely exhausted, 1) from dragging my luggage around the mta for an hour, and thank you new york for not having any lifts or escalators. 2) it was 3 am on my body time 3) these guys are the fastest walkers i have ever been around. i am a fast walker, and usually ahead of everyone else. they were in tennis shoes and me in flip flops but still, i was literally jogging to keep up. i have blisters on the pads of my feet from walking so fast in flip flops.

OH and i do love new york. I get it now. There is a certain energy about it. Very different from Chicago, and i think i still like chicago better, but new york is alright. And i do not know why they are tearing down coney island. Its fantastic and i am glad i got to photograph it before they do tear it down.

Today I will take a cab from Leif's apartment, seeing that the roller handle of my new suitcase broke off yesterday and dont really feel like squating over all through the subway to roll it. I shall arrive in Chicago tonight at 6:14.

I cannot wait.

Soy

2007-07-31T11:58:00.000-07:00

I was grinning ear to ear while landing into London.

English. Pale people. Not just espresso when you order cafe. Thai restaraunts. My feet are back to their normal size. Suitcase instead of pack. Fall weather. Iced drinks. Air conditioning. Paved sidewalks. Trains. And the ability to order anything I want with soy milk. soooooo happy!!!!!!!

seriously, i couldn't stop smiling yesterday. i knew where i was going. i knew the people i was staying with. i was finally familiar!!! ahhh!!! and i met two girls at two separate times who live in chicago. im close im close! i am so close to being home! but now that i am back to familiarity i am okay. i could most certainly live in london (as long as i worked here because it is so expensive). i looooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeee it here.

i went and had the most amazing soy chai latte ever with my dear dear friend lauren from high school who i hadn't seen in forever. we played catch-up and it was awesome. she is here to study with her school at kings college. she is taking a harry potter class. i love her.

the rest of the evening was spent visiting with my hosts who i stayed with before and the other couchsurfers that they are hosting. paul and lesley are so wonderful and it is so great to be around them again and have familiar warm faces.

today i went to the tower bridge which for a while i though was london bridge. after i had spent nearly a roll on this i realized that this is much smaller than it should have been and saw on my map that it was indeed not the london bridge. BIUT it did put me right by the Tower of London which is the one tourist attraction I was excited about and was going to lay down the cash to do a tour of. it was 13£ and worth every cent. There was a free tour by one of the wardens and then they had other scheduled events throught the day you could see or not. And it wasn't just for the tower, but everything within the tower walls. So I pretty much spent the whole day there and it was awesome. Got to see and hear about some pretty gory and bloody events, which is always cool. I really really really wish jason could have been there with me. I kept on wanting to say "whishaaww!!" and put my hands together to make a giant hang ten sign. oh jason i miss you.

Then i decided just to take the first tube line and randomly picked a stop. I ended up at Oxford Circus which is like the magnificent mile or times square of london. But this also meant that there was an apple store nearby. Hence, the blogs. But I am getting pretty darn tired of standing right now so i think i am going to say cheers. But i really do love london oh so much. Lets all move here,

The Jewish Nazi

2007-07-31T11:38:00.000-07:00

So Sunday in Milan was actually one of the best days on the trip. Piero and a girl from Pisa that came in the night before, went to church while Giovanna stayed home to prepare the most amazing meal of my life. I figured out my next few days out and wrote postcards.

When Piero came home he brought me a treat: his name was Giovanni and he is no doubt the most attractive man i have ever been within a close proximity to, let alone shaking hands and having conversations.
SMITTEN AS A KITTEN. Seriously, i have never had to try so hard not to stare and continuously drop my jaw. I was smiling the entire lunch because he spoke the best english and was interpreting for me...so i had a great excuse to look at him. oh god he was beautiful. so beautiful that there was no hesitation to run for my camera and shoot about 5 different pictures of him so that i could remember this beautiful encounter for the rest of my life. and he was intelligent and he was a 28 year old architecture grad student AND most importantly he was flirting back.

When the girl from Pisa left, Giovanna and Pierro went up to the bedroom and left me and Giovanni in the kitchen. He tought me how to play chess on his computer, there were laughs, there were smiles, there was insane flirting i thought at one time i would just grab his face and kiss him. until....oh i still say oh why? why? why?

He said the word muble describing something on the chess game.
I said oh that sounds like a Harry Potter word.
His face changed a little and asked me if I had seen the new film.
I was really excited that he might also be a HP fan and said yes! i got to see it in florence!
His face dropped.
le sigh. Turns out he is one of those extremists who believe that Harry Potter AND Lord of the Rings and basically any fantasy will lead you straight to the devil. i wanted to cry. WHY? Why of all people to be an extremist in the completley COMPLETELY ridiculous ways must it be this beautiful person. I am so upset that some other harry potter hater will get to have this beautiful man. ugh.

So we of course had a very very long debate about this in which we basically had to come to terms to agree to disagree, me left with the impression that he is insane for thinking the things he does, and he probably thinks i am a follower of satan.

Before this terrible discovery I had also come to find out he is Jewish and attended both senagouge (i really dont know how to spell that) and the Christian church. And right before the Harry discussion I had asked him why he attended both and there was much procrastination, im sure because he gets judged quite heavily by both parties. His reason actually makes a ton of sense and is the most logical thing i have heard in religion for a while. But anyways leading from this into Harry Potter in the time where he was throwing in his past life for persuasion emphasis he just happened to throw out that he had been in prison and also used to be a part of the Nazi party. jewish...nazi....interesting indeed! He never really gave me a reason why other than that he got sucked into it by his friends and infuences, which is a total cop out by the way and i hate it when conservatives both preach and give out this excuse.

But I guess to tie this story up, other than his extremist views this guy was amazing and we had a great time together. and i really really wanted to kiss him. another good thing about him being around was his ability to translate, which allowed pierro to talk about nore things than religion. Pierro ended up being a very endearing and silly man who i came to appreciate once he wasn't preaching his head off.

Giovanna his wife was a beautiful person and so kind to me. Her food was incredible and she was so generous.

The next morning Pierro took me to the airport rather early, so i killed time by standing outside looking at Switzerland. It was beautiful and as I was listening to Kings of Convenience, Ide Rather Dance With You, i had such a peace and excitement about the rest of my trip. I guess because of the feeling i was getting back to people who looked like me and spoke my language that it felt more like closer. But I also had more personal peace within me and I feel that something really great is going to be happening this next semester. I am really really excited.

ciao milano. ciao giovanni.

Everything I Hate In Life Is Found In Milan

2007-07-29T01:42:00.000-07:00

The night before we left for Milan we again said goodbye to Christian, the waiter, and told him we were going to Milan. He scowled and told us, besides the Duomo, there is nothing in Milan.

He could not have been more right.

I was to stay with my mother's friend's friends. I knew only that he was somehow involved in the arts community, had once studied photography, and like mac computers. Great! There should be lots to talk about. He, Piero, was to meet us at the train station and I was just going to drop my bags off at his apartment and the four of us would be off to musuems of Milan.

My roomates did not realize that we had to go to his apartment first, so I felt kind of bad, but he said that he lived close by and I was assuming we would leave as soon as I dropped the bags by.

ONe of the first things he asked me when we got in the car: "Do you know the singer Michael W. Smith?"

oh god.

And that is exactly what continued. Him talking about Enya's sister who is a Christian singer, Michael W Smith, some Christian pub he wanted to take us to. Church, Jesus, I was not prepared. I was trying the entire car ride not to bust out in laughter because we were all caught off guard. We were then told upon arrival that his wife, Giovanna, had prepared us lunch and that they were going to take us around...hmm...sticky situation. Still not sure how we got out of that one, but we did, it was akward, and we still got to see everything.

The contemp. art museum here i guess just closed and dissapeared. But we went to another one which blew my mind away. Blew everyone's mind away. NOne of us had been to a (huge) museum and liked about 95% of their collection. It was amazing! And it was all contemporary Italian artists. I bought the cataloge and everyone who likes art is going to look at it.

AFter dropping my roomates off at the train station and saying our goodbyes, I took my time getting back to the apartment. Seeing that they only had a one bedroom apartment I was terribly afraid that I was going to have to sleep in the same room as this couple, which would have been unbelievably uncomfortable. They sleep on an air mattress in the kitchen though, but i feel terrible about this too.

Pierro is the kind of guy who wears Hawaiian flowered t-shirts that say Messiah on it. I think that can give you a pretty good idea of how this guy communicates. He is also quite a bit of a know-it-all. 90% of his conversations are about the church or cheesey metaphors about God and Jesus. Although this was insanely irritating, because I did not agree with anything he was saying and could not say anything because they were my gracious hosts and feeding me, I thought I could make it through with just politely listening and maybe it would eventually wear off. As long as they didn't ask me the question.

They did.

"So how long have you been a Christian?" "What church do you go to?"

My initial response was to pound my head against the table and plead insanity. Instead, I had to explain that I was raised in the church, but that I had a huge problem with organized religion, and that I had my beliefs but did not want to exactly associate myself with the collective religious group called "Christianity."

Then the looks of judgement. I could see the plan formulating in their heads. oh she is not a Christian now we must make it our goal to witness to her while she stays here. Then Giovanna says, "oh so you have dillusions about the church and its people."

"Well, i don't really think I would call it dillusions..."

I have had many MANY even more clarifying realizations by talking with them on matters I didn't even think I would come to, and going back to the church is most certainly not one of them. But I am not going to get into that. Just realize that being preached at 24/7 is one of the most exhausting, frustrating, and makes me only want to pray that someone will come blow my brains out. I can't stand it and I don't know how anyone could "receive Christ" by talking to an Evangelist.

So I escaped the next day after being driven around to the Schaumburg of Milan and found a nice park. It was really beautiful and so many interesting people. And then I seem to find the most terrible person in it.

After sitting on a bench in the shade, drinking a bottle of water and watching guys practice juggling and other tricks, this guy comes sits by me and tries to communicate. He speaks only Italian I speak only English. good, that was that. So you can imagine how thrilled I was when the older gentleman sitting next to him decides to interpret for him, which ends up being that this guy, i think his name was Andrei, wants to walk around the park with me. OH yeah, walking around a park with a complete stranger who looks incredibly sleazy and speaks no English sounds like an awesome idea to me. I obviously say no. I do take both of their portraits though, and move on. OOH yeah, the old man gave me these braided key chain things. He was cool i liked him.

When I was walking away I saw this black guy with a cast on sitting on another bench looking at me. He looked American or English and he kind of interested me, but i kept walking and shooting. When I turned around from shootng this weird concrete thing, he had changed places and was sitting on a nearby rock. He called out "scuzzi" and I found him kind of strange so I went to see what he wanted. He wanted his picture taken, which I found even more interesting, so I took it, and we started having a conversation. He was from France, so we had a broken english/broken french conversation about hip hop and italy. He had a stuttering problem and this guy was quite endearing and interesting. He didn't seem to be hitting on me, just wanted to be payed attention to. okay, i can do that. Then he asked to walk around the park with me. I said no, and he kept asking why why why? Because I have friends to go back to. Okay, lets have our picture taken then. uh...do you see this camera? its a manual camera, we can't really do that, but he got down on the grass next to me and really wanted this picture, so i just wanted to get it done and over with and leave. As I was adjusting the settings and getting ready to hold it up to take the picture he starts sucking my ear. I obviously move away saying what do you think your doing? and then he apologizes and decides oh, maybe she wants her breast groped. I screamed fuck off and got up and left.

I was and still am so so SOOO freakin pissed off. It is so violating! So terrible and disgusting and inexcusable! God I am so angry about and want to vomit everytime I have a flashback and can feel his tongue on my ear and his hand on my breast. UGHHHH!!! And what pisses me off even more is that this kind of crap happens every day to women and that it has happened so many times to me. Men let something that has no brain control them. ugh!

So for therapy i took some highly emotionaly charged self portraits then sat down in a cafe with coffee and cigarettes. Then back to the apartment for more Jesus talk.

Get me to London.

ciao elisabetta

2007-07-29T01:19:00.000-07:00

The last week in Florence was insane because we had to piece together a final project with basically nothing, while still continuing to shoot for the final, and see everything we hadn't seen but wanted to.

The last day of shooting by the river was very peaceful for me and the project all started to come together in my head. I shot the last riverbank, which is the first one i ever saw and was initially attracted to. LIke every photo project I do, I feel as it becomes a self-portrait, so I kind of realized some things in what I was shooting and why i was shooting these, what most people call as disgusting places, in such a beautiful city. I never saw them as disgusting, at least not in the same way. Finishing shooting brought closure to my entire European trip. I felt confident about what I had shot and that i had finally gotten a style about my work. Those feelings might have changed now as soon as i had to piece together a final. There is nothing more frustrating than having all the images that you shot in your head, but not having the ability to make a contact sheet, so you must aimlessly scan as many images as possible to make some vague attempt at a final project.

Because I have so many images and it is such a segregated project, meaning it is to show the differences of the riverbanks and so the images become categorized and separated into the different riverbanks, it was extremely difficult to critique. What it came down to is that I needed more images for them to see, all of the images I showed were beautiful, and that editing was going to be the most challenging task. Yes, i knew this. Probably the most ungratifying critique of my photographic education. Besides that it was probably the best critique I have ever been to. Everyone talked, everyone was so interested in everyone else's work, and even though we had such a variety of skill level, most everyone's work came together so well. Diana is an amazing woman and teacher and I advise anyone to take a class with her. My experience was hightened by the fact that her partner, Jackie, and newborn daughter, Francesca, was with us the entire time. Jackie, being a socialogist, had some extremely interesting inputs into our critiques and discussions, and Francesca is nothing but pure joy. I don't think I have ever loved a baby as much as I love her.

Other things that happened that week:

Someone turned my wallet into the police, the police, i assume, took my actual wallet and the 120€ that were in it, but mailed everything else that was in my wallet back to the school. So fortunate and saved me the hassle of filing a police report in italy for insurance purposes and having to get new id's.

Went to the science museum in florence and saw all of galileo's tools, including his middle finger preserved in a reliquary.

Went to, we thought was going to be the ballet, was a modern dance show instead, in an outdoor ampitheater. that was awesome. I haven't seen much modern dance, so i thought it was pretty cool. My roomates have seen a lot of dance and said it wasn't that great. The environment was awesome thought because it was in the Boboli Gardens.

Had a lovely dinner at Terra Terra, which was the restaurant below our apartment that we had befriended the waiter, Christian. They were very fun and playful with us and gave us some free wine. It was a hefty dinner though, with three courses, all delicious. It was a very delightful evening.

Had a farewell dinner that Columbia paid for at a traditional restaurant that was very nice, especially since there was a big bottle of chianti for every four people. A little too much food though.

I said my goodbyes here, since me and my roomates departed the next day for Milan and I would be staying there for the next three nights, then flying to London. I was kinda glad to leave Florence. I would have to say Florence was not my favorite city in Italy, but there were good times. I will miss the royal blue bust of a woman in my bedroom we affectionately named Elisabetta, due to the fact that we lived on Via Santa Elisabetta. The oddly colored Matador painting in the living room will be missed as well. I wanted to steal it and take it home, but it would have been rather large to fit.

ciao florence. ciao milan.

Roman Holiday

2007-07-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

Brief update since it has been a while since i wrote a full length blog. For those of you who don't know the story, got my wallet lost and/or stolen in the train station on my way to Cinque Terre. (This city, by the way, is the most beautiful and satisfying lifestyle i have ever seen. ) Kind of had an emotional break down, gave up, and said europe had gotten the best of me. i wanted to come home as soon as the program was over. My mother was wonderful and took care of everything and of me as best as she knew how from thousands of miles away. No luck with coming home early, but plans changed. The wallet deal was the last straw for me and i couldn't take Europe's ill-fated plan to break and make me, let alone the trains with a far too full pack. Milan and a new suitcase became the plan, taking the trip the day after classes with my roommates, staying in Milan, then flying to London to stay the remainding days until my flight. Sounded much better and things settled down.

Cinque Terre is a city carved out of rock on the Mediterranean Sea and i may not witness a more beautiful place ever again. Despite the meltdown, the trip was quite relaxing, and Columbia and the staff and everyone on the trip were more than supportive and helpful during this situation.

Came back on wednesday night, class thursday, shoot shoot shoot, saturday at 3:30 am departure for Rome.

LOVED LOVED LOVED LOVED Rome and i could have spent at least a week there. Unfortunately, Stefano and Franco, our tour guides and comedic duo, would not have it and instead we went through a painfully long and slightly miserable tour through the Vatican Museum, Sistine Chapel, and St. Pauls Cathederal on little to no sleep. Then eat for 30 min and back on the bus to stop once again at another church. It's beautiful and it's awesome architecture, get it, now get back on the bus. Check in to four star hotel where we all experienced the luxury of air conditioning and a real pillow (europe believes in pillows similar to pancakes). Meanwhile, our fourth roomate, Alanna, who had gotten to Rome the day before with her mother that just decided to fly in with her friend for 5 days, experienced confusion on where to meet up with the group and was lost in Rome with a dead phone and no way to contact us. We were frantic trying to figure out how to rectify the situation which involved Alanna's father contacting us from the states, Alanna taking four train rides back and forth to Rome, and a very large beer when she finally arrived. Sleep Eat Sleep.

Next morning: And we're off! 8:30 am departure to Spanish steps (dont ask me what these are, i will give you no other answer than that they are important, pictures were taken, and it was too early). Walking tour to Italy's most famous fountain built on the facade of someone's private palace. Pretty righteous, threw a penny over my shoulder, made a wish, keep walking. PANTHEON! amazing, and we actually got there justs in time to be able to go inside before mass. Then some hideous Roman building that even Romans hate and call it the birthday cake. Next to it? Ancient Roman ruins. ahh so cool! But no time to actually step foot on them and walked were people of one of the greatest empires ever in existence walked. Get on the bus, time for lunch. Here's a great idea: Take 48 exhausted Americans that are dehydrated and burning from Rome's brutal sun and take them to a lunch where there are five courses, two of them being pasta, give them multiple glasses of wine, in a room with no air conditioning and one window cracked, make it take two and a half hours, then make them go back out in the sun to do a marathon tour of the colluseum and the forum while slightly tipsy. Good job Franco and Stefano! I love you for your comedic quirk, but your planning must seriously improve. We had an hour to see the colluseum and forum. Coloseum (which i apparently can not figure out how to spell) blew my mind. ahhh it was soooo cool and i just wanted to be there with Jason acting out all the gory events that took place. I could have spent at least 2 hours just there. The forum right across the street? Literally ran threw it to see as much as i could haphazardly shutter happy and just barely making it back just in time to get my Kodak instamatic shot of the colluseum and meet up with the rest of my group. sleep on the bus back home.

I heart Roma.

More updates soon to come on my last whirlwind week in Florence. But I am in Milan now and very very sleepy. g'night kids.

Have Patience

2007-07-23T01:26:00.000-07:00

in other news... my wallet was stolen in cinque terre. awesome.

Sketch

2007-07-16T09:00:00.000-07:00

i know i know i have posted so much today but i did some scanning and thought i would show you some sketch stuff for my final project which is on the different riverbank communities in florence. i do't have portraits or even my toe dipped into what im going to do but at least this will give you some maybe idea?

and here are some pictures at pisa all taken by elena except for one taken by jenny and that one is in fiasole
alanna
i was sleepy
we were all sleepy. me, jenny, and alanna
food is refreshing?
elena. this is near where we went to the spike lee film fest that was in italian but we stayed and had a bottle of wine. this was kind of what was behind the screen.

Calle, Biennale, Gratzi!

2007-07-16T05:13:00.000-07:00

This weekend the whole school group went to Venice which was sooo beautiful and hotter than Hades. I have never appreciated Florentine shade so much as i do now. The main reason we went was to see the Biennale, a huge huge, enormously huge art exhibition taking place all over the city of Venice. It would take one a little over a week to see everything at the Biennale, that's how big it is. You think ArtChicago is big? It's precisely 1/10 of the Biennale. (pronounced bee ah nah lay) We only had two days to see it. One day for the main biennale event in which it is all of these buildings broken down into different countries that choose to represent a singular or plural artist, from their country. However, the Italian one (which of course is the main exhibit) hosts artists from every country, usually repeating the ones already exhibited in their own countries' houses. This is probably the most amazing art i have ever seen and especially at one time. It's like art olympics.

The countries i visited: Italy (thumbs up), USA(one thumb up) (Felix Gonzoles-Torres was the artist chosen), Spain(thumbs up), Germany(thumb and a pinkie up), Canada(thumbs way up), Great Britain(thumbs enthusiastically up), Switzerland(thumbs down), and France (which changed my life)(thumbs way way way way up). I heard Russia was pretty cool, as well as Venezuala. Latvia apparently sucked. I will have pictures of some of my favorite art/artists when i get my notebook with all the notes in it.

Sophie Calle Changed My Life And Photography.

A French artist, her exhibition room in the main gallery (which was over 50 rooms by the way)gave me chills and stuck out as one of my favorites even before i knew who she was or that she was the main French artist as well. Her first installation was an explanation of the piece saying that one day in Feb she got two phone calls. The first was an invitation to the Biannale, the second was that her mother had one month to live. She began describing how her mother wanted to live and die in the lat month. She wanted to die with a Mozart concerto in her ears and she kept saying this one sentence over and over again. I can't remember what it was, but it was the last thing she ever said and the last word was something (in french) like couche i think. Then she tells of how her last breaths were somewhere in between 2 and 15 minutes later. They could never be able to tell exactly when. So after reading this (which you can hear clips of the concerto in the background) you turn around to face this fabric sculpture piece framed with the word couche. Across from this is a painted portrait of her mother probably taken from a photograph in the 70's. In a room (with a feel of it being a visitation room since it was seperate) there was a portrait of her mother right after she died and another picture frame with the word couche. Across from this was an empty picture frame. Breathtaking. Chills covered my entire body. This was just an appetizer.

Her French gallery (which was enormous) was a photography installation performance art. She had recieved a letter from a former lover that one can only guess as to exactly what the context of their relationship was: they were not exclusive and i think it was more about being lovers but in a really intense way. they didn't love each other, not in that way, but in a different way. So anyways she had recieved this letter from a lover about why he was ending this relationship. She gave it to 107 women and had them interpret the letter however they wished, if they wanted to re-write it, literally interpret it, dance it, sing it, act it, paint it, whatever they wanted to do, and she documented all of this and took each of their portraits. Normally when photographers do installation pieces heavily based on presentation, the photographs are kinda lacking. NOt calle, each one of these portraits was absolutely stunning. The video of people performing in whatever way they wanted was great, and how she presented it was so so perfect. It was a truly perfect exhibit that i may not ever have a chance to see ever again. How many times can you walk away from an exhibit and have absolutely nothing critical to say about it?
(AT WORK PHOTOGRAPHING GIRLS)

I walked away from the space so unified with women in a way I have never experienced before. Every conversation I have had with Chiara about men, relationships, analytical women, how we react, everything came together. Even though these 107 women were all reacting to one ambigous letter differently with different interpretations we (meaning women)all got it. WE got every single one of them; we agreed with every one of them; we became a powerful team guarding our traits as women. We're critcized for being over-analytical, over-emotional, over-talking, but these things should absolutely be celebrated. This is what makes us women. Even if we don't like women, we still understand each other, and we have this undeniable bond, and in this exhibit Sophie Calle made us realize this and made us work together to figure this out, this one ambiguous letter, from a man. My roomate Alanna and I were discussing this exhibit in full detail together and how we felt so empowered after. We are both girls who claim not to like girls and find it much more appealing and rewarding to befriend more males than females, and we were more than curious to know men's reactions to this exhibits. We both agreed that every man who has ever questioned why women over-think or why women respond to them the why they do, need to see this exhibit. It really is life-changing and much more than art; it is socialogical anthropology. Which i have no doubt that if i was not a photography major, this is what i would be, so this is what i will always make my subject in my photography.

Not only was it life-changing in a generalized way that every woman, if they are at all intuitive to themselves as women should feel, but it incorporated the 4 main subjects of my mind throughout this trip. It really baffles me how things come together like this. Much of this trip has been about being a woman. A woman travelling by herself in Europe will have a completely different trip from a man travelling alone. I have met more women than men and this school group is heavily dominated by women. In my photo class there is only one guy. Also my photo teacher brought her life partner, who is a sociologist, along on the trip which has been so wonderful for me to see even how women relate, and in a completely different way that to what i am used to. It's actually quite beautiful to see this wonderful and loving relationship between these two women and their new baby.

Before I left and this entire school year Chiara and I would have countless conversations about men, figuring them out, interpreting them, how to react to them, and how we hate them but can't live without them. Instead of talking about us and how we feel, or how we are interpreting them, about how they react to us, about how we are hated and loved by them, the focus became about them. Now i realize that is just stupid. Thank you Sophie Calle for shaking my shoulders and waking me up.

I could go on about how this transpired into photography and where this takes me now. Basically everything I realized on the bus back from Venice, but there needs to be digestion time and too much for one blog.

Tomorrow I will leave for the beach of Cinque Terre for an overnight trip that should be amazing. So it might be a few more days before i get a chance to write more because as soon as i get back i will shoot shoot shoot for my final which i am super super excited about.

Ciao mi amores.

A Pisa My Heart

2007-07-16T05:03:00.000-07:00

I loved Pisa in all it's kitzchy gloriousness. Pictures on jenny and Elena's cameras will soon follow, hopefully, as well as some super stealthy pictures jenny got of David.

We didn't go up to the top of the tower, but we went to the church, baptistry, and the graveyard. It was nice just to walk around, but nothing super special. It twas a nice day trip with the roomies. But I was super sleepy and difficult personal realizations were setting in. So it has become difficult to balance the exciting exterior to the slightly collapsing interior. My own leaning tower perhaps?

That night we had a moreti beer and went to see the new Harry Potter film. I was so so so excited and quite impressed. This one has been by far the best. I loved it and there are only 5 days till the book release.

I've Seen Jesus

2007-07-16T04:36:00.000-07:00

Last Wednesday we went to the Academia Musuem, which houses Michelangelo's famous David statue. I didn't think much of it since i had seen it on thousands of post cards, but when i got there i was totally blown away. Amazing! It's freakin huge!Other highlights include Lorenzo Bartolini sculputure plasters. i normally don't get into sculpture, but for whatever reason i was drawn to these.
But by far, besides David, the most impressive exhibits at the Academia were the two musical instrument museums. so freakin cool. There are so many instruments not being played anymore, which is a cryin shame. And the ones that are played are not made with nearly as much skill, detail, and artistic quality. There was a whole room on an instrument maker named Michele Antonio Grandi who made instruments from marble. So beautiful and i thought they were just to look at, but no, they played them. I would show you a picture but google decided to be a failure. Another totally rad instrument maker is Giovanni Maria Anciuti who made woodwind instruments that look like serpents and dragons. Terrifyingly awesome looking. Other instruments not played anymore that should be you ask? Spinet, Hurdy-Gurdy (actually i hear that the girl from arcade fire plays this. thank you arcade fire for playing an instrument that not only looks cool, but has the name hurdy gurdy), archlute, and colascione. Find them and play them!

Everything else in all these museums is starting to get a little old. I've seen Jesus in all shapes forms, sizes, ages, and colors close to 200,000 times just in the european trip now. Double that for the Madonna. I'm sick of religion. That's why i was super stoked ( by the way i have no idea when i started saying this word. Somewhere in between the time i became friends with tucker and riding the train with 5 california boys) to go to the Photography Musuem here in Florence.

Larry Fink had his jazz musician exhibit up which was ehh. There other exhibits were mostly about carte-de-visites and such like that. They did have a hallway dedicated to all sorts of old cameras which i wanted to steal all of them. They had a slideshow of polaroid art, including one from Columbia's beloved Dawood Bey. So nothing impressed me much until i reached their permanent collection.

Italian currators blow my mind. They put these amazingly important pieces in the shadows. I turn the corner in the permenant room, and oh, it's only Henri Cartier-Bresson's most famous, most critiqued, most referenced, might-have-changed-modern-photography photograph of the man jumping over the water, just hanging out in a shadow. you know whatever, original print, big deal. WHAT? Following, with slightly better light was dorothoy lange, ansel adams, minor white, diane arbus, and many others. Thanks Florence for advertising this. These are just as important as David or the Duomo (which was another surprising mind-blowing event), but they get lost, literally, in their shadows.

le sigh...

More of What I Couldn't Finish Yesterday

2007-07-11T00:11:00.001-07:00

London rave kid and her grandpa
all of these are in lucca as well. This is the image i used for my first assignment.

totally excited about harry potter today. and we're going to a spike lee film festival. awesome.

I'll Take What I Can Get

2007-07-10T04:17:00.000-07:00

So sorry ive been terrible about updating. Things have been insane and insanely frustrating. Facility wise, this school basically lied to us, and the facilities are completely unexecptable. The "digital lab" has photoshop 7.0, three flat bed scanners, well actually only one works, with terrible terrible software hardly capable of scanning. Then they have three printers which are basically phaser printers. Canon i9950 printers to be exact. So we've accepted that we just have to turn in awful prints, that are less than sketch prints, for critique and obviously just print when we get back. So here are some terrible scans of some of my trip thusfar. I will put up better ones later, when i return to my dearly beloved, oh so cherished and missed, Columbia facilites.

ciao.

Basel, Switzerland
Lucca, Italy
Lucca, Italy

The Three P's

2007-07-05T01:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I had revelations out the wazoo. Im coming off of the most challenging trip of my life and finally being able to reflect on it. This usually comes at the end of the trip, so i feel like i should be coming home soon. But now I just have another trip beginning. I feel strangely overprepared and several steps in front of my classmates from what i've learned in the past three weeks.

Philosophically:

This is the hardest to break down and explain, because its more of a feeling, i suppose.

We're all the same. Yes, there are few cultural differences, the people look a little different from Americans, and the food is better, but there is nothing drastic about European culture. I guess I already knew that, but it's strange to hear teachers warn you about cultural shock when we still are living in a Western culture with nearly everything we are used to, even McDonalds, within our access. The way people relate is the exact same.

Yeah, i can't do this right now, i'm in the middle of class on a weird break thing and not in the right mode. I will add to this later.

Sweat It Out and A Day of Luck

2007-07-02T01:40:00.000-07:00

Wow, sorry guys. I am in Florence and i haven't had email access until today because of not having a student password, yada yada yada. So im just on a five minute break from my first class today. So ill give you the run down of whats been going on in Nice and here thusfar, and then later today write more of a philosophical/photographical essay/personal account of the past 6 days.

Nice: Beautiful beautiful beautiful. the rock beaches didnt even bother me, other than that it was insainly hard to get in and out of and the water was gorgeous, but freakin cold. It was extremely touristy so I was completely fine just being by myself here, lying on the beach, and listening to music. I figured i had a lot of sweating out toxins and bad energy to do that had been accumilating for the past week and a half. The only person i had to talk to was a flirty Algerian who came and sat down on my mat. You know there is nothing more irritating than a guy who comes over to flirt with nothing to say. I can't stand it when guys think it works to sit next to you and be charming, but expect you to do all the work. ugh. So when i figured out that his English wasn't that great I just started asking questions that he couldnt answer without basically mocking himself. When i laughed he thought he was being funny. No, i was just laughing at him. It was entertaining for a while and then when i didnt want to do work anymore, i completely just stopped talking to him and stared straight into the ocean. Since he obviously had nothing to say he finally got the idea and finally left sheepishly. I felt just a little bad because as he turned to say goodbye and sorry for disturbing me (which he had) he tripped on a rock and nearly fell. It was really awkward so i just turned my head and put my earphones in.

The British girl i wasnt too fond of in the beginning I ended up becoming little friends with, along with her Irish friend. I took their portraits before leaving and exchanged emails. It was nice to be in the company of just girls and to be girly for a change. Though it was quite a different girly because the girls in the hostel, these two and then several Swedish girls, were all very reserved and quite shocked at how open i was or the things that came out of my mouth. i am not used to being in reserved company so that was weird. But I have been tired of hanging out with guys all the time and have missed the company of females and "girl time."

I ended up having to leave a little early due to train scheduling. Nice has daily overnight trains to Florence from 9pm - 7am. It was okay that my trip was cut short because i wasn't really interested in going to the museums in Nice and there is only so much beaching one can do. I had gotten my thighs splotched with sunburn just the first day. *note: i did try topless tanning. no big deal for europeans, but it took me a while. i think its a good thing to try at least once in your life, but not everybody...please!* So my last day I just basically hung out at the hostel because once i get in that packing mode and getting ready to go, i just want to go and get there; nothing else is on my mind. But waiting until 9pm made me incredibly anxious (though i did get to meet probably the most gorgeous man i have ever laid eyes on, from south africa who was taking my bed. next trip? south africa baby!) Upon leaving there was discrepency about getting my money back for the night i was not staying, the pink lady ended up not being so nice, but i got at least 10€ and my deposit back.

My train ride couldn't have been more uncomfortable.

At first i was excited to share a cabin (which i thought was going to be a sleeper cabin, but no, it was three chairs closely staring at another three chairs) with 5 American guys, who all kinda young looking, but decent. Then they started talking. "yeah, so this is our first night in two weeks being sober, what about you?" oh dear god. i looked at them and was like um, so are you guys in school? yeah we just graduated. highschool, right? YEAH! oh boy. quintessential californian highschool boys with stinky feet that took over the entire cabin so that all i had left was one tiny little corner to somewhat nuzzle in. That didnt really work, but atleast those boys didn't drink the rum they brought on the train, and they were all right guys.

Wednesday, June 27th: A Day of Luck

Once i arrived in Florence I must have gotten my brain pick-pocketed because I have never made a more stupid decision. I had a choice to walk left or right or take a taxi. I didn't have a map, only an address for the school, and most people were walking right. So the choice was clear to me to walk, carrying about 50lbs, to the left without a clue of where i was, but thinking that i would just happen upon it. what? seriously? when did i become this dumb? i had thought that there were directions in the packet they gave us from the train station. no. but after walking around for 25 minutes and then trying to hail a cab for another 15, i read that you cannot hail a cab, but can only go to cab stations. there are only 3 cab stations in the city of florence, the closest one being by the train station that i had just come from. awesome. I was so irritated with myself at being so stupid. ah but luck! I happened on a cab letting out some man to his apartment and jumped in. I actually wasn't that far away, but there would have been no way at all to find where i was going.

The school was closed when i got there since it was before nine. I have never been so sick of travelling as i was at this point. I waited and had a cappaccino at a nearby cafe, then got sent to another building further away, and just had to wait until 12 for the housing. I went up to the cafe and to the smokers pavilion outside since it was in a nook and fell asleep. I was woken up in an hour by someone coming out for a smoke. And another stroke of luck, it was Claudia! Never have i wanted to fall to my knees hugging her legs, so amazingly happy to see another Midwesterner who knows what the 600 S. Michigan Ave building even looks like, and knows what a Chicago hot dog tastes like, and knows that the Cubs suck, and knows that taking the brown line at night is one of the most beautiful ways to see Chicago. Never have I ever been more excited to see someone I didn't even know. Claudia is the coordinator of the trip. She took me back to the apartment she was staying at with the other female faculty and i had the most blissful nap of my entire life. I had made it. It was like running a marathon and breaking through the ribbon. Man I have never felt more relieved! Ah!!!!

That night I had a wonderful dinner put on by the chair of the Art and Design Department, Sabina, who loves to cook for people and host and do things like that. She is a woman in her forties that just got married last year and is the most hospitable welcoming woman with intelligent, wise, and the most encouraging words I have heard all year. I am so blessed to not only have met her, but to have been able to spend quite a bit of time with, since she was only staying till the weekend to make sure everything was flowing for our group. The rest of the faculty from our school that had arrived all came over for dinner. What a refreshing evening to go from simple conversations with people that speak English as their 3rd language and have no experience in the arts, to people that have been ACCOMPLISHED in the arts for over 30 years. Wow. I was not regretting one single bit that my host in Florence fell through that night or that i had come in a night earlier than everyone else. Not one single bit. And just to do a little bragging, I charmed the socks off of them too, and the non-photo faculty all wished I was in their department. ha! what a compliment. I really was blessed.

Florence is amazing! Italy is amazing! And of all the places Iàve been, Italy is my favorite. The lifestyle, the food, the everything. Most surprising is how freaking nice our apartment is. HOly cow! it's huge. we have a dishwasher and a huge refrigerator. I don't even have a dishwasher in Chicago! oh and a washer in the apartment. This place is nicer than my chicago home.

This weekend was spent walking around with my three roomates, Jenny Montgomery, Elana Greeklastname (both photo majors), and Allena Criscie (an illustration major).They are all great and we get along well. I totally have a friend crush on Elana; she cracks me up. It was nice to get to know a European city without the 10lb backpack on my shoulders. And though i love my roomates and it was wonderful to actually get out the word limit, but good lord i have never done so much shopping and talking in all my life. The season of "girl time" has passed. I dont like to talk THAT much and i have a shopping expiration life of about 2 hours, maybe less. So sometimes i have to separate myself from them, which i hope they don't think im being bratty. Europe is new to all of them, so they should go out and explore, but i have been seeing all these things everyday for the past two and a half weeks. I needed rest.

Today was the first day of class, which was basically just finding out password for computers and yada yada yada. The lecture was a bit remedial, because Diana has to teach to a range of student levels. One girl has only had photo 1, and four of us are seniors. After class we decided to look at the facilites, but I'm going to wait and save that one for a new blog. haha. oh man. yeah, that will take a blog to itself. And people in Chicago, you kiss that dirty Columbia College darkroom floor, cause you are a spoiled photo facility brat!

Tomorrow is a day trip to Lucca we all decided to take with the art history class, and this weekend we're paying a little extra to take a day trip through tuscany which includes wine tasting. huzzah!

Ciao.

More Later

2007-06-26T01:59:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to quickly let everyone knoz that my time here has much improved. i am leaving nice a little earlier than expected since the train only has one overnight to florence. so i leave tonight at 9 and arrive in florence 6am tomorrow morning.

oh and one of the most brilliant things to happen? my ipod works again: huzzah!

i will write more in detail later of all that i have realiwed and make you immensely jealous of where i have been the past fez days.

chao,
elise

A Favorite Mistake?

2007-06-23T14:09:00.000-07:00

I got to my train on time, al lof them and arrived in Nice at 8:15pm. Travelling was beautiful. i thought i had seen real swiss alps yesterday, but no. Today was the day travelling through switzerland and into italy. it was absolutely breathtaking. And then once i transfered at Milan I was able to see the majority of the Italian riviera. amazing.

And then i got here.

To welcome me outside of the station was about 30 hotels, 6 sex shops, and the realization that I probably didnt have a place to sleep tonight. I didnt have the opportunity to chekc my email before i left this morning since everyone was still asleep so i was hoping to talk to a tourist office to find an internet cafe. I broke down again and tried to call my mother, but no answer. I contemplated sleeping on the beach or an alley because all the hostels were booked (i had checked last night) and the hotels here are much too expensive. Finally I found an internet to read my impending doom. Her father had surprised visited her and could not host anyone for the next two weeks and i didnt get a reply from another girl i tried. She recommended a hostel that was the cheapest one in nice, but i knew that was a slim chance.

The Pink Lady. That's the name of the woman who runs this joint, which is adorable and french on the inside of the reception which is also a restaurant. it looks like its from amelie. She speaks about as much English as I do French. She made room for me and i fell in love with her. However, this is costing me an extra 68 euros which i had not planned for and last night realized i had a whole hell of a lot less money than i thought. If i don't get help from the madre i really dont know how i'm going to pay rent, buy supplies to actually do what i came here for, and most importantly, get back to London so I can come home.

But right then i couldn't concentrate on that, just being thankful that i had a place to rest my head. I go upstairs to my room. Its a depaul party. I don't even know when ill be going to bed tonight because I got in the party room. I hate hostels. i hate them. It is not to meet people, it is to meet people to drink and possibly sleep with. It's vile.

Within a matter of five minutes I managed to insult a snotty British girl and ostricize me from the rest of the group. Great. As if I needed to feel more foreign and awkward. She apparently heard (i hate london) when i said *wow, london is expensive* and she keeps bringing it up and giving me the cold shoulder. whatever. ugh. Everyone is so unintelligent here and lame, for lack of a better word.

i HATE this. I wish i had just done Italy. Maybe i've gotten 5 good pictures out of this, which is certainly not all the blood, sweat, tears, and cash i have put into it. Just get me to Italy and get me home.

Will I ever be able to look back at this as a good thing? i duno. a favorite mistake, perhaps.

Land of Milk and Honey

2007-06-22T11:39:00.000-07:00

So switzerland has made my camera come back to life. It was really nice to be in a place i knew nothing about and wonder about the city with no plan and looking at a map only once. I shot almost as many rolls yesterday as i have the rest of the trip. this was encouraging.

Switzerland is beautiful, but I wouldnt want to live here, and Im pretty sure if i stayed any longer i would get pretty bored. everything starts to look the same. beautiful chalets, streaming river, and small mountains in the background. Besides walking around there really isnät that much else to do here. Swiss culture or atleast basel, is just about living your life surrounded by beauty, much like it would be in Montana, though i think photographing Montana would be much easier.

I did go yesterday to one of the main museums in Basel, the Künstmuseum. Jasper Johns was the touring exhibit, but i didnt want to pay extra for it. The rest of the museum wasnt that impressive so i pretty much did a really fast walking tour and left in like 30 minutes. Some website had said Basel had a thriving arts community, but besides the two or three museums, I havent seen any artful livelihood.

Last night I made a meal for the first time since my travels, with my host Fabian. It got interesting. What started off as going to be eggplant parmesian with pasta and veggies, turned out much differently. i donät think he understood the purpose of the eggplant and how it was to be served, so he just put it to the side without sauce. interesting and not that great. he also put milk in with the veggetables and a little egg. not something i would have done but it turned out okay. i also offered my bottle of french wine i bought, mostly cause i decided i didnt want to lug it around anymore. it was pretty tasty, and for only four euros. amazing.

After dinner, Fabian, myself, and Fabians friend Morasomething went for pints at their favorite pub. That was a good time and good conversation, plus i got to ride a bike on my way there. i havent ridden in so long and it was quite nice. though i had a difficult time getting on to this bike. chiara, if you would have seen me you could have back every laugh i made when you mounted yours. it was a very different bike than what i am used to!

Today i had the opportunity to take a fairly inexpensive train to either Freihburg, Germany, or Luzern, Switzerland. Both i have heard are lovely, and although it was tempting to cross the border and claim one more country to my passport and the train was half the cost, i chose luzern because i have heard so many wonderful things about it. even my uncle johnny recommend i go there. so i went and it was rainy, but still beautiful. i got to see real swiss mountains because since basel is right on the border of france and switzerland (i could actualy walk to germany from this apartment) they donät have the best mountains and im pretty sure they are not the alps. so i saw the alps today, but like i said earlier, there isnt that much to do in swityerland unless you want to shop for the same things you find in the us or pay lots of money to go on tours, neither which interest me. so i mailed postcards (whos gonna get one?) and got my train tickets for tomorrow when i head for nice, france.

but before i left i had to by chocolate. of course, especially after reading the email from my mother which wet my appetite immensly for chocolate,. so i bought a package of truffles and some other cheap doodads. i immediately took a bite of each truffle to see what was inside. blecckk!!!! most of them were awful because they had like vodka or some sort of insanely stron alcohol in them that i was not prepared for, so it would run down my face and oh it was just awful tasting. so to get this awful cough syrup taste out of my mouth, i, like every senior citiyen tourist around me, bought ice cream. and holy crap! they say everything is bigger in america, but switzerland one'upped us on ice cream scoops. i got one vanilla with choc chuncks, and one lemon. it was delicious, but by the end i thought i was going to throw up and scooped out the ice cream to eat the cone so as to relieve my mouth of the now pulsating sugar. get me back to basel. it was starting to rain anywho. so a fairly uneventful day.

Though i have found switzerland to be a strange land with juxtapositions everywhere, and somewhat boring lifestyle's, there are several things i can greatlz appreciate about this beautiful land:

1. their ice cream
2. there are clocks everywhere and chuch bells to let you know what time it is. it has been a luxury to know the time and not have to figure out military time either. this past week i have had no concept of time or the actual day, only the date. sometimes its nice, other times i want to know that its an hour past when i wanted to leave somewhere.
3. switzerland doesn't make tourism a magnum source of income. the amount of tourist stores and traps i have seen here has been about as much as butte, montana. i like that about the swiss. they live their life uninterupted, but will gladly service a customer. the joys of a nutral country.

So the only problem i see on the horizon is the possibility of me maybe not having a place to stay in nice. i havent heard back from my host which makes me very very nervous. i take a train from basel, to bern, transfer at bern to milan, and from milan to nice. i am dreading it, BUT! for as much complaining as i have done about my bags there has been more to appear on my arms other than mysterious bruises: muscles! haha, they are appearing and i am not complaining about that.

now if only the life of my ipod would just a mysteriously and magically re'appear. i wont be able to take it to an apple store until maybe rome. ugh.... stupid ipod. it is quite frustrating because i havent even used it and when i really wanted to and these next few days spent on the beach i am going to want to even more, it doesnt work. thanks alot.

but im going to a beach and i am going to get waterlogged and it is going to be awesomeness....so i hope. now i only have to get to the train station by 8:30am. my train leaves at 9:04. pray.

chao,
elise

Les Miserables

2007-06-21T02:49:00.000-07:00

Wednesday, the 20th:

shopping day. goal? in about 3 hours to find a beautiful scarf or one of these lovely tops or dresses that all the french women wear. the night before marianita and layed out an extensive shopping route for me, that i didnät know if i could keep. after helping the roomate, Frederica, whom i adore and will hopefullz meet up with in Italz, move her stuff downstairs, i was readz to face the day.

The french style really is so beautiful. so classic and elegant with paying close attention to details and fabrics. Every piece of clothing is such a work of art, itäs really gorgeous. i wish i could have bought something, but it was very hard for me to justify spending too much money since i will be spending beaucoups of it on photo gear in italy. So shopping became another dissapointment, although i did end up with a chocolat croissant and a beignet. i also had met up with my friend lawrence for lunch, who paid. excellent.

back to the apartment to do a few more packing and take marianitas portrait and off to the train. time quicly passed and marianita had not shown. her mother walked in and told me that she would not be able to make it back. crap. i really wanted her picture, but im pretty sure that i will come back throug paris after italy because there is so much more i wanted to see and marianita said i could stay with her. i left the apartment much too late and decided to take a taxi to the train station. my train lef t at 4:41, i arrived at 4:46. five minutes. i tried to find when the next train would be arriving, i couldnät even find the billing office. i broke down. i was so tired, i just wanted to get on the train. my last 24 hours had been miserable. i was wishing i didnt do europe before italy, at least not alone. i wanted to bawl but i tried to keep it together with silent tears streaming down my face as i tried to find someone, anyone that could speak english. i had been fortunate to always find someone who spoke english, but the one time i reallz really needed it, i couldnt find it. finallz i found the billing office and stood in line for an hour. i reserved a next spot for the next train to basel which would not arrive until 12am. i did not have time to call my host but just to board the train. i was so exhausted. my feet hurt so bad. they are almost completely calloused, my toes are peeling off. carrzing all that luggage can make one extremely sweaty, i looked like i had just gotten out of the shower. i sat down in my assigned seat. no air conditioning in this car. i pulled out my ipod to comfort me with nice music. it would not turn on. something happened to it within an hour and it no longer works. as soon as i realize this, a baby two rows up begins screaming it lungs out. my feet hurt. im pretty sure i pulled a tendon on the side of my right foot the first day in london, but have just been wallking it off. however, walking differently, so the muscles i have been using to walk to lessen the pain of the tendon were now over worked. i looked down at my arms which are covered in random horrifyinglz huge purple bruises. everytime i travel i get more, but this time my arms are covered. i look like ive been in a fight. i was excited to look at the landscape between france and swityerland. my window was the only one that was completely scratched and nearly opaque. i could nt take it anymore. i wadded my sweatshirt and burried my face in it, bawling. i wanted to go home. why had i had the stupid idea that i would have fun in europe by myself? its horrible. i am trying to have a good time and i am interested in what i see, but in a week ive taken 10 rolls. i dont have anyone to share my experience with no one to laugh at all the mishaps. just me by myslef. everything was going wrong. i cried so that i would not have a massive massive panic attack.

i calmed down and moved to the other side of the car which was air conditioned and had a clear window. someone smelled bad, but i could deal with odor. after watching the landscape for a while and seeing things i was again more interested in photographing, i dozed off. when waking i realized that no, it probably wouldnt be fun. it was going to be challenging but that was the whole point of it. italy is my reward. i could do this. i had to do this. i had no other choice but to do this.

as soon as i crossed the border control in the train station and stepped out the doors, i realized i knew absolutely nothing about swityerland. i didnät know if they spoke german or swiss or if they used the euro or something else. this vulnerability was not the greatest welcome sign. i tried to call my host to tell him i was on my way. he had been expecting me at 10. dont even get me started on the phones ineurope. uggghh. so i couldnt call. i had decided to take a taxi and not figure out the swiss train systems at 12:30am but id dinät have enough euro. i went to an atm and quickly learned that they do not opperate on the euro but francs. i took a taxi to the address and hoped that i could somehow get in.

my welcome was not as traditional as the other couchsurfing places had been, but a little austere. fabian, had some friends over that looked at me like i was an idiot. i tried to brieflz explain my frustrating experience in the french train station but made myself look like an ignorant american for saying that they didnt speak english there. they made sarcastic jokes and one of his more cynical friends said, so really its your fault. well yes and no. its actually the stupid american educational system that doesnt teach kids any other language than english, which kids still cant even read. its no mystery why the rest of the world look at america like we're baboons sucking our thumbs and then telling other countries that we really know what's best for them. i don't blame them for making fun of america and i do it too, but dont assume i am like that, which i made sure he quickly realized. i did feel dumb. everyone in this house can communicate in at least 4 different languages. i dont even know how to say "do zou speak english" in german. the conversation wasn't as easy and natural as the other places, but after a beer and cigarette i was feeling a little better. however, basel is not the town i thought it was but may supply many a photographic opportunity. but very ready for bed.

it seems the rain has followed me from new york. every city it continues to rain. its finallz clearing up so i shall take a quick shower and walk to the city center to see what it has to offer. maybe ill finallz get on a photo roll, eh?

one can dream.

A Little Bit of Whine with that Cheese

2007-06-21T01:59:00.000-07:00

pardon the z's for the y's. i'm back to a germanic keyboard and this is the onlz differnce in the kezs. see?

Wednesday, the 19th:

It started off with a bang, though a late in the day bang. i went to the train station to figure out my eurorail pass since i was leaving the next daz for basel, switzerland. my train would leave at 4:41 and arrive into basel at 10:06. perfect. i didnät have to deal with tickets i could just walk on the train since this particular train did not have reservations.

on my way out, i noticed a sign for a harrz potter train. um, yes pleaxe. it was free, i had no idea what was inside the three car train, but i stood in line for an hour to find out. so that ate a lot of mz time and i felt completely like a nerd for getting all giddy to myself, reallz really wishing jess was there with me, but what was inside was totally worth it: costumes and artifacts from the new h.p. movie. hell yeah! i was so stoked.

that was the highlight of my day. from here forward the day spirals downward. so warnings to zou all.

i went to the latin quarter since i thought that is where students hang out. no, its where tourist hang out. ate at a cafe by myself. went to the notre dame which was pretty awesome and got to stay for a short mass that was verz interesting to see. that cathedral blew my mind. after this i just kind of wondered around eventuallz deciding to walk to the eiffel tower and have a picnic on the lawn of wine, cheese, and fruit. on the map this looked completely feasable, like a 20 to 30 min walk. easy. i just walked along the seinne river to see the tzpical sights of paris that are beautiful but onlz post card worthy. the light was beautiful as it was overcast and the sun was setting, creating a beautiful impressionistic sky, but finding anzthing to p hotograph with this perfect backdrop was challenging.

it was more like an hour and a half walk to eiffel tower, in sandals, and a 10lb camera back pack, then carrzing a bag of groceries for the lawn. i felt like i had completed a marathon when i arrived and sat down on the nearest bench to relieve mz feet as quicklz as possible. i walk to the lawn with a rewarding treat of ice cream in mind. downpour. rain, clouds, lighting, the works. awesome. and the one day iäm wearing the worst possible shoes for this weather and did not bring a rain jacket or even a cardigan. awesome.

i was exhausted and reallz all i wanted was ice cream but i knew i should probablz go ahead and eat dinner somewhere otherwise i would be hungrz as soon as i got back and there is nothing open around that time. but im around the eiffel tower, everzthing is going to be romantic and expensive. but i broke down and decided to treat mzself to a nice dinner. a nice dinner. that's what i had in mind. instead i got the worst service i have ever had, cold food, and the dissatisfaction of looking like a complete loser tourist with an exhausted face, sweatz clothes, a backpack, and an empty chair across from me. i wanted to cry. i wanted someone i knew to be there with me. i wanted my mother, i wanted chiara, i wanted many of my friends to be sitting across the table from me laughing with me about our ridiculous walk that ended in rain. but i couldnät laugh at it by myself, there was nothing funny. there was only complete sadness and lonliness and stupidity as i looked around at people with people they new, looking at me like oh poor thing, she got stood up. that is a terrible look, let me tell you. i hated hated hated that night. an overpriced, terrible service, no company meal.

i went back home to write post cards and hope for a better day tomorrow. i wasnät going to take the cameras out, but give mz shoulders a rest to go shopping for something prettz, something french, for me. and as much as i loved paris, i was becomeing to familiar with it, and was excited to see swityerland. a country that the states does not hear or see much of, so i wouldnt feel as though everything had been photographed.

Monday: A City of Muse

2007-06-19T02:50:00.000-07:00

Conversation the night before with marianita, zho is getting her phd in Anthropology, got me so inspired to take pictures the next day. She lives near the Montmarte area, zhich is wear Sacre-Couer is. So I made my way around Montmarte to take pictures zhich was so awesome;

americans think that the french are unfriendly, not true at all! i have had a zonderful experience! people zill walk up and talk to me about what iù, taking pictures of, ill get into an interesting conversation and take their portrait. yes, most of them are trying to make money off of tourists but they end up having real conversation zith me. my cameras have gotten a lot of love and attention... and work!

after spending entirely too much time in montmarte, i quickly hurried to the picasso museum, zhich blew my mind away! holy cow! so talented i cant get over it. his range of ability is like nothing ive seen before and zell well zorth the trip.

then i relaxed in a neqr by park and took pictures of all the interesting people that walkded by this old fountain.

headed back to the apartment to get a different key for night time and was going to take marianitas portrait but she was racing around to get ready for her mother arriving. so i ended up having a very long and interesting conversation zith frederica and taking beautiful pictures of her. both of these wo,en are so intelligent, beautiful, warm people. it mzkes me very excited to be in italy for a month. then i headed out to meet my old high school friend, lawrence, who is studying french here.

it was so nice to, one catch up zith him, and tzo, to have conversation zith someone you knew, rather than get to know you conversation, or even general conversation, even if it is interesting. sometimes you need just good conversation about what that person is really experiencing. personalization.

his host is extremely kind as zell and fed me zine and cheese. then lawrence and i headed out for more drinks and deep conversation. it was awesome and just what i needed to cap a wonderful day: qlthough, getting home was not the most fun. the metro closes at one and it was one when we left the bar. ruh-roh. so i walked 3miles home in unfamiliqr territory, no mqp, handwritten directions, and pepper spray in my back pocket. it started off fine, but i missed a street and ended up taking a longer route...in flip flops none the less. then a stupid guy stqrted following me, got up in my face, i was cold as a french woman, kept saying non, and stuck my hand in his face and walked away. this aside from thinking a british dj was going to pummel me was the only confrontation with danger. but i was fine and no pepper spray had to be used.

i returned safely and ready for the couch at 3am.

it is now 12 on tuesday, and i wanted to go to more museums, but they are closed today, so tomorrow.

au revoir!

Saturday: Rave Till You Die

2007-06-19T02:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry ive gotten behind folks and bare with the mispellings, im typing on an italian keyboard since my hosts here in paris are fro, italy.

Saturday was both exciting and one of the most discouraging on the journey. I got up and out pretty early because I wanted to go to both Camden Makrets and Portobello rd market. Camden was the most bizarre place i have ever experienced culturally because they spoke my language but operated completely different than you or me. it was definately the youth scene of london which is hugely into punk, goth; but most importantly, rave; i started taking pictures of everything and with matt austin in the back of my head, asked people to pose for me. i was getting a good response and it was so hilarious to me, this culture. I was super pumped and so encouraged to take pictures because the day before i had taken very few because it is very hard in places like these to take original pictures. everyone has seen those buildings a thougsand ti,es and the same sorts of pictures. so i decided to stick zith a the,e that is going to be prevelent in italy: youth. tweens qnd teens around the zorld are basicqlly all the same just different trends and styles zhich i find fascinating; especially in places that represent so much culture and history itùs strange to see so,eone walking around in neon green space age skirts, as opposed to all the kilts ze,re used to seeing. i want to further co,pare this by trying to photograph the old too; preferebly next to the youth, zhich i got the most perfect opportunity in london. a girl probably of 16 in full out rave zear and neon patch hair sat dozn with her very traditional grandfather for ice crea, at a picnic table. so seeeing as i could not have asked for a ,ore perfect picture i knez that i could not voyeuristically take this picture. so i mustered up the strength and asked to take their portraits for a project. i think they zere surprised and i was shaking as i wz meetering them, but i think itùs going to be good.

Im going to cut to the chase because this co,puter is getting annoying. i went into this ,ega rave store which is by far the most bizzare place i have ever been and most culturally uncomfortable. techno music was blasting, blacklights were glowing wnd kids as young as 10 were shopping for rave gear that consists of clothes in neon colors, and if you combined the subcultures clothes of punk, gothic, and 1960s space age futuristic clothes. i wanted to take this girl picture that zorked there so so so bad but she was really busy and did not look very freindly; i will describe her when i get back because it requires hand motions.

so i was going to settle for a pic of the in shop dj, and began fooling zith ,y bronica wastefinder camera. he noticed, cursed me out and made me leave the store. as i was briskly walking out i caught gli,pse of a photo book titled: the people of camden. great. so i was taking same old pictures. i got so discouraged because of these tzo events. why are people so opposed to cameras? i dont get it.

this slozed my picture taking dozn immensely. so i ate azesome indian food and zent to portobello rd market that was much more quaint and cheerful. not too many pictures zere taken though.

after mistakenly buying a zhole basket full of bananas for a pound, zhich is the cheapest thing i ever bought in london, i decided i better head back to my hosts house to set the 20 banans dozn. i ended up just staying in for the night, my really great hosts had friends over for dinner and invited me and the outher couch surfers from ca to stay. we then wathced a couple of episodes of the bbc office and went to bed. hozever; i went to bed even more discouraged because i completely misunderstood the train system here. i thought you could just go and buy a ticket the day you wanted to leave. like the metra in chicago. well not unless you want to spend 300 dollars. so i was having to cut a day in london and spend it on an 8 hour bus ride to paris. very disheartening indeed. but i was ready to get to paris where the euro, cheese, wine, and a familiar face greeted me. it was saturday that i felt so lonely and miserable. i am glad i will have more time in london later because i did not get to see london bridge except form a distance, london tower, big ben, buckingham palace, all the big ones you knoz?

but paris. i was terrified because of the language barrier, dreading the journey, but ready for a new and much cheaper place.

SUNDAY: Castlelot Cruiselines

not much to sunday. i got to see a part of london i zouldnùt have seen fro, a train, by riding the bus and i got to see a lot of castles from a distance. i actually wantedt ophotograph more what i saw on the bus than anything yet.

the bus took a ferry to france zhich was like beeing on a cruise ship for an hour. i never want to go on a cruise ship. never hace i seen more old decreped people before zith food in between their teeth marveled by each individual wave. ugh. i went to sleep.

finally finished my book and finally reached paris at 9pm zhen the journey started at 11:30am.

met my host, marianita, zho is actually from venice, and another couch surfer zho met me at the metro stop, david, from california. both very interesting and extremely kind people. as soon as i walked in the door i felt at home. she has made me feel so zelcome with pasta that night to a light and refreshing breakfast each morning with freshly brewed coffee and foamed goat milk. she is amazing. and her roomate is a street mime, how cool is that? she has travelled all around europe to make money toing mime and is leaving tomorroz to go back to her home, rome because the money isnùt as good here in paris. i was lucky to be here.

A Tit For Tate

2007-06-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

I did not have internet access for very long yesterday. So view this as yesterday's blog.

After a somewhat decent sleep at the hostel I had no idea what time it was when i woke up since i could not find a plug to plug in my phone and I never wear a watch. The first time I awoke, i determined by the light that it was much too early. The second time I awoke I heard someone say it was 8am, and finally after a few more winks of sleep I arose to get ready and enjoy a free breakfast downstairs that ended at ten. I got there at 10:01.

I wondered throught the streets of Hyde Park a bit, in search of a charming little breakfast place to have tea and toast, and to decide what I was going to do with myself for the day. TATE Modern Museum was my destination! London tubes and buses are the most efficiant, cleanest public transportation I have ever been on, and they are so easy to figure out. It's amazing. I feel like I know London pretty well considering how little I have been here.

Tate was pretty cool, I like it much more than the MCA, although they didn't have any photography exhibits going on. They had an incredible exhibit though called Poetry and Dream. Really difficult to explain, but really awesome. I wanted to see the Dali and Film exhibit sooo bad, but it cost too much money, and I'm all about free in this extremely expensive city. But these were some of my favorite paintings/painters, some of which i had heard, some of which I hadn't. I was able to see 4 new Jackson Pollock paintings so freakin close that I was so excited about, especially since I had just remembered my love for Pollock after talking to Chiara about a few days ago.

Jackson Pollock's Yellow Islands

Marlene Dumas, Lucy

Bernard Frize, Spito

Wilhelm Sasnal, Untitled (a)

Georges Rouault, The Three Judges

Hans Bellmer, The Doll

After this I tried to go into the Globe Theater but it was closed for a performance so I crossed Millenium Bridge to see St. Pauls' Cathedral. I mean it's pretty, but i've seen a lot of pretty cathedrals in my day and i'm going to see a lot more in Italy. So it was back to the hostel to collect my luggage from storage and head over to my first couch surfing experience!

After more grueling effort getting from train to train to apartment with all my luggage, i was exhausted and in pain again. But I was welcomed with friendly smiles from Leslie, and her french roomate, Frank. I just stayed here the rest of the evening and had conversation with Leslie and later her husband Paul whom I had communicated with. He is so funny, but what is so weird is that he is like the charming funny side of Bryce Conlan. So freakin weird! He even looks like a british bryce. When I first saw him, my jaw dropped. And when he grows his hair out, it's bushy and curly like bryce's. so weird. But they are awesome, and Paul is much cooler than Bryce.

Well I was going to write another blog about today, but the computer is dying and I need to do other things, so this should keep you tied over for now.

Cheers!

Codface

2007-06-14T17:13:00.000-07:00

It's 1:30am in London and I don't think I've ever been so physically exhausted my entire life. My hips hurt; I must walk funny. My shoulders look like a violent sunburn. And my feet are nearly completely caloused. gross.

I really wish I had a picture to show you how ridiculous I look when carrying all my gear. I have a 32.5 lb pack on my back, a 18 lb camera backpack on the front of me, a purse draped across my shoulder, and hand-holding a hot pink Frida Kahlo bag stuffed with important documents and books. I look like a freakin idiot. I packed entirely too much and I hate myself very much for that. My body hates me for it.

New York redeemed herself slightly last night when I ended up eating in Greenwhich Village (which was a breath of fresh air from uptown, but I know I probably wouldn't like it if i lived there)for an appetizer and a much needed glass of red wine. Feeling good about my new appreciation for New York I was ready to curl up on a chair in the airport and get 5 hours of sleep. And then it happened. It took me two hours to get back to the airport and five trains. Oh...my...Lord are those trains confusing! So by then I was wide awake and needing lots of chocolate. I walked around the airport a while with my very heavy camera backpack (which was completely useless since I didn't take one picture while i was out) until I could walk no further. I would say about 50 people had the same idea i had to sleep in the airport, but they got there faster than i could and snatched all the spots with outlets to plug in their cell phones and ipods. GRR. So I curled up (in pain from walking with so much weight improperly placed) on a cold hard tile floor underneath the staircase. Everyone else was lying parallel to store fronts where the plugs were. It was actually hilarious and really creepy looking but it was too dark to take a picture, i didn't have energy, and i didn't want to wake them.

So with maybe two hours of sleep, more like 45min, I finally woke up, picked up my luggage and washed my face ready for my flight to London. Even waiting in line for Virgin Airlines with that pack on I thought I would die of pain. Finally I was on the plane, food was in my stomach, a pillow in my possession, and the prospects of London in the horizon. huzzah!

As soon as I figured out the train system in London I immediately knew I loved London. I love it here and I've only seen it when it's dark for about 4 blocks. But good lord did i arrive at the hostel completely drenched in sweat. The hostel is pretty cool. It's in a hip part of town (Hyde Park) and is surrounded by shcwanky hotels that look exactly like the hostel from the outside. I've never been to a hostel but this is sure not what I was expecting. At first it felt like summer camp. Separate showers that you need flip flops for and bunk mates. But oh how that would change.

After a really really great shower I was ready for fish n' chips to be in my belly. It was 10pm by this point and things were starting to close; my options narrowed. But huzzah! An arab restaurant in the area was still serving fish n' chips and soon my taste buds would be reunited with that wonderous fried cod taste that they first experienced so long ago when I went to Ireland. WRONG. Their fish and chips was a giant fried piece of cod with regular old french fries. no oil. no vingar. no pieces of fish. no chunks of chips. I felt like i was at Shoneys. But whatever, I was in London and there was food in my stomach.

Upon returning I met a girl on the stairs of the hostel who goes to Pratt school in Brooklyn, NY and we have a lot in common. She is super cool. With my reservations i made for the hostel I got a free beer from the bar below. I'm thinking it's going to be this really small laid-back bar. no. It is like a night club down there and it's one giant hook up party, so that was weird. But whatever, i got a free beer.

But I love London, everything about it. And I can't wait to start photographing tomorrow, which is a relief since I was so discouraged in NYC. I'll meet my couch surfing people tomorrow and stay on their couch instead of this hostel and I am looking forward to that immensly. I could most assuredly see myself adapting and living in London quite easily...except I would need to be more fashionable x 10.

Good news! I have an idea for a final or atleast a direction while I'm in Italy, and hell, all over Europe. I like it, but i'm not revealing it yet. Too premature, and i'll see how it goes tomorrow. But for now, I'm pretty sleepy so I'm going to tuck in.

I miss you guys already!.....well sorta.

peace,
elise

New York a la mode

2007-06-13T16:54:00.000-07:00

Bleck! I'll have none of it. I have found nothing to take pictures of, other than recreating Matt and Trevor's idea of taking pictures of people taking pictures at the bean in Chicago. I find it both sad and hilarious that people take pictures of store fronts. Seriously? It's just materialism, marketing, a picture of a picture. What is so fascinating about a Gucci store front? c'mon people! I hate Times Square and I know that I could never handle Tokyo. I once thought I would like to go there from an ethnographical standpoint, but no, i've gotten enough of that in Times Square.

This news just in! So Broadway has produced winners like Les Miserables, Phantom of the Opera, Wicked, etc. Their new idea? Legally Blonde goes Musical! gag. what is the world coming to?

The most interesting I've seen thusfar in New York is the outside of a historical gothic architecture church with the church sign saying ALL ARE WELCOME. Homeless men had taken the stairs and built forts out of cardboard and had their belongings stored there, and not just for overnight. I thought about taking a picture, just because of the sign said ALL ARE WELCOME and that was definately taken up. But then I decided it would be too voyeuristic and the church probably put it there because the men had already chosen to build their forts there and it was probably some marketing scheme between the church and the homeless, making innocent tourists their victims. It was on 5th avenue for crying out loud. That's what New York is: one giant marketing scheme. I'll have none of it! You won't fool me, New York.

Well I'm completely taking advantage of the apple store like every other fool in here, so I'm going to leave and see if I like Soho any better. I wish I had more time and more energy. This is not a city of energy, by the way. Well, if it is, it is because it drains you of it to light the billboards of Times Square.

Noir et Blanc

2007-06-08T12:33:00.000-07:00

Film stills from my project I call Cinema. I printed them traditionally 16x20 along with 9 other classic cinematography shots i set up myself from different genres of film.

EUROPA!

2007-06-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

So after spending oogles of money for Europe, it is about to pay off. I leave in a mere 5 days and this is the site to read if you want to know what I'll be up to. And there's a bonus! By the time i get to Italy I'll be able to upload some of my photos for all you people to see. So Bon Voyage!

Chao,
elise

Hide and Seek

2007-05-13T12:17:00.000-07:00

These are just a few images from my studio II final, Hide and Seek. The series is an exploration of one of the strongest human emotions: crying. Crying is rarely photographed and always in a documentary style photograph. We pose people in the studio smiling without knowing if their happy, we pose them in serious positions, in candid funny expressions, but never crying.

In my life I have been a magnet to sad and lonely people. I can find out deep emotional thoughts about someone I just met that has taken them years to hide. Why? Why do these people find such a connection to me? Do they find me trustworthy? What words of mine put a spell to cast their heart upon mine? It becomes very frustrating at times because I become more of a therapist than a friend, lover, or companion. And sometimes I feel like they are just staring into a mirror when they look at me. How can I help them and listen to them when I have the exact same problem? Is not everyone sad and lonely?

The models in these images are not those who reveal themselves to me, but most of them I do not know very well. I wanted to see if I could bring that sense of emotional shock out of them. What I received was a hell of a lot more. There is a strong tension of the photographs between reality and the surreal posed studio effect. .... I like it. Hope you do to.

Oh and I still haven't figured out those questions by the way.

Tears of Fears

2007-04-15T17:01:00.000-07:00

Here is a color image from Nashville on Spring Break. We went to a metal factory to photograph, but i ended up finding more paper. hmm...

I'm starting a new Studio II final project since I had to scrap the year-long planned creepy late 19th century circus character portraits because of time and money. Bummer. I was looking forward to that, but it didn't take me anywhere for the effort. They would have just been aesthetically pleasing, which is completely unlike me. Now my project is about tears.

One of the most powerful human emotions is crying and is not often explored in photography unless it is a documentary. I'm posing my models in a studio environment directing them into pretending to cry...believably...but hopefully not too painful for my models. I've noticed in the past year that I seem to be a magnet for sad lonely people who are usually miserable inside. For whatever reason, they end up telling me. I don't know if I'm all that different from them, but I can pull things out of people that have taken them years to hide. My models are not these people, but I wanted to know if I can do the same thing with an acquaintance and posing them, almost in a mockery, but respectful. I haven't ironed it all out, but it will be a self-exploratory journey, I'm sure. Challenging, but I'm up for it.

Wish me luck.

Inadequate

2007-03-25T21:36:00.000-07:00

so i feel completely inadequate compared to my peers right now in photography. i need to do more, but what i'm doing right now does not allow me to. i hate my projects and i hate my future projects already. i am completely uninspired.

Polaroidian Candidate

2006-11-05T21:21:00.000-08:00

I've been in an offbeat-camera sort of mood as of late. Today I shot with a regular type 600 polaroid and a holga. I love'em! My roomate and I laugh because we are both photo majors, own many different types of cameras and shoot many different types of pictures, but we seem to be in none...unless they are polaroids. This comes down to one simple reason: we do not own a digital camera, not even the point and shoot kind. When we post our pictures from our weekend vacations with friends, we must scan in our polaroids, not hook up our fancy-schmancey usb port. We're okay with having only polaroids of ourselves though.

With all this election stuff going on I've been thinking that if I ever ran for any sort of government official, I would not pay $5 per sign for a blue block with my name in white lettered Times New Roman. You wanna get younger voters? Design for this century. Seriously...enough with the standard election posters. But, then again, I guess that's why I am in art school and not running for any sort of office.