Les Miserables

Wednesday, the 20th:

shopping day. goal? in about 3 hours to find a beautiful scarf or one of these lovely tops or dresses that all the french women wear. the night before marianita and layed out an extensive shopping route for me, that i didnät know if i could keep. after helping the roomate, Frederica, whom i adore and will hopefullz meet up with in Italz, move her stuff downstairs, i was readz to face the day.

The french style really is so beautiful. so classic and elegant with paying close attention to details and fabrics. Every piece of clothing is such a work of art, itäs really gorgeous. i wish i could have bought something, but it was very hard for me to justify spending too much money since i will be spending beaucoups of it on photo gear in italy. So shopping became another dissapointment, although i did end up with a chocolat croissant and a beignet. i also had met up with my friend lawrence for lunch, who paid. excellent.

back to the apartment to do a few more packing and take marianitas portrait and off to the train. time quicly passed and marianita had not shown. her mother walked in and told me that she would not be able to make it back. crap. i really wanted her picture, but im pretty sure that i will come back throug paris after italy because there is so much more i wanted to see and marianita said i could stay with her. i left the apartment much too late and decided to take a taxi to the train station. my train lef t at 4:41, i arrived at 4:46. five minutes. i tried to find when the next train would be arriving, i couldnät even find the billing office. i broke down. i was so tired, i just wanted to get on the train. my last 24 hours had been miserable. i was wishing i didnt do europe before italy, at least not alone. i wanted to bawl but i tried to keep it together with silent tears streaming down my face as i tried to find someone, anyone that could speak english. i had been fortunate to always find someone who spoke english, but the one time i reallz really needed it, i couldnt find it. finallz i found the billing office and stood in line for an hour. i reserved a next spot for the next train to basel which would not arrive until 12am. i did not have time to call my host but just to board the train. i was so exhausted. my feet hurt so bad. they are almost completely calloused, my toes are peeling off. carrzing all that luggage can make one extremely sweaty, i looked like i had just gotten out of the shower. i sat down in my assigned seat. no air conditioning in this car. i pulled out my ipod to comfort me with nice music. it would not turn on. something happened to it within an hour and it no longer works. as soon as i realize this, a baby two rows up begins screaming it lungs out. my feet hurt. im pretty sure i pulled a tendon on the side of my right foot the first day in london, but have just been wallking it off. however, walking differently, so the muscles i have been using to walk to lessen the pain of the tendon were now over worked. i looked down at my arms which are covered in random horrifyinglz huge purple bruises. everytime i travel i get more, but this time my arms are covered. i look like ive been in a fight. i was excited to look at the landscape between france and swityerland. my window was the only one that was completely scratched and nearly opaque. i could nt take it anymore. i wadded my sweatshirt and burried my face in it, bawling. i wanted to go home. why had i had the stupid idea that i would have fun in europe by myself? its horrible. i am trying to have a good time and i am interested in what i see, but in a week ive taken 10 rolls. i dont have anyone to share my experience with no one to laugh at all the mishaps. just me by myslef. everything was going wrong. i cried so that i would not have a massive massive panic attack.

i calmed down and moved to the other side of the car which was air conditioned and had a clear window. someone smelled bad, but i could deal with odor. after watching the landscape for a while and seeing things i was again more interested in photographing, i dozed off. when waking i realized that no, it probably wouldnt be fun. it was going to be challenging but that was the whole point of it. italy is my reward. i could do this. i had to do this. i had no other choice but to do this.

as soon as i crossed the border control in the train station and stepped out the doors, i realized i knew absolutely nothing about swityerland. i didnät know if they spoke german or swiss or if they used the euro or something else. this vulnerability was not the greatest welcome sign. i tried to call my host to tell him i was on my way. he had been expecting me at 10. dont even get me started on the phones ineurope. uggghh. so i couldnt call. i had decided to take a taxi and not figure out the swiss train systems at 12:30am but id dinät have enough euro. i went to an atm and quickly learned that they do not opperate on the euro but francs. i took a taxi to the address and hoped that i could somehow get in.

my welcome was not as traditional as the other couchsurfing places had been, but a little austere. fabian, had some friends over that looked at me like i was an idiot. i tried to brieflz explain my frustrating experience in the french train station but made myself look like an ignorant american for saying that they didnt speak english there. they made sarcastic jokes and one of his more cynical friends said, so really its your fault. well yes and no. its actually the stupid american educational system that doesnt teach kids any other language than english, which kids still cant even read. its no mystery why the rest of the world look at america like we're baboons sucking our thumbs and then telling other countries that we really know what's best for them. i don't blame them for making fun of america and i do it too, but dont assume i am like that, which i made sure he quickly realized. i did feel dumb. everyone in this house can communicate in at least 4 different languages. i dont even know how to say "do zou speak english" in german. the conversation wasn't as easy and natural as the other places, but after a beer and cigarette i was feeling a little better. however, basel is not the town i thought it was but may supply many a photographic opportunity. but very ready for bed.

it seems the rain has followed me from new york. every city it continues to rain. its finallz clearing up so i shall take a quick shower and walk to the city center to see what it has to offer. maybe ill finallz get on a photo roll, eh?

one can dream.